We set aside baseball's pennant races for a moment to pine for a more colourful past.

While baseball moves towards modern technology by finally adopting instant replay, it's a shame we can't hop inside a time machine to get an up-close look at some of the greats who carried such creative nicknames.

"Wahoo" Sam Crawford in the early-1900s; "The Splendid Splinter", Ted Williams, back in the '50s; and Jim "Catfish" Hunter from the '70s.

This is just a small sampling of the marvelous monikers that have become such a big part of baseball lore. But even the Montreal Expos, who didn't exactly rewrite the record books, have an impressive presence in the nickname notebook.

When the Expos arrived in 1969, it was big news in Montreal and Daniel Joseph "Rusty" Staub was the club's first big star. With a full head of red hair, "Rusty" was a no-brainer. However, Staub's immense popularity cried out for something that reflected the passion of French Canadian fans. Thus, the legend of "La Grande Orange" was born, one of the more regal handles in Major League history.

But the Expos' nickname game didn't end there.

There was Ron Hunt, "The Clay Pigeon", a hard-nosed second baseman who picked up the label after getting plunked by opposing pitchers 243 times during his bruise-inducing career.

"Some people give their body to science," related Hunt in a famous quote. "I gave mine to baseball."

Other memorable Montreal blasts from the past?

Jose "Coco" Laboy, Bob "Beetle" Bailey, Andre "The Big Cat" Galarraga, and "Hawk" and "Rock", Andre Dawson and Tim Raines respectively.

Compared to that kind of creativity, today's generation of "Smitty" and "Jimmer" can't hold a candle.

For instance, upon scanning the current roster of the Blue Jays, all that comes to mind are "Doc" and "Johnny Mac", in honour of Roy Halladay and John McDonald, nicknames that are colourless to the core.

It's obvious, then, that the Jays are in desperate need of assistance and with the team's best interests at heart, we offer up a few suggestions.

Vernon Wells: In a tribute to his Texas roots and a bat that has finally sprung to life, he shall now be referred to as "The Arlington Assassin."

Marco Scutaro: Marco "Polo" Scutaro has a nice ring to it, but we can do better. In stature and style, the scrappy little infielder resembles the late, great New York Yankees icon, Phil "Scooter" Rizutto. "Scooter" Scutaro, however, is much too obvious. Therefore, in tribute to Rizutto's post-playing broadcast career with the Yankees and his famous signature catch phrase, Scutaro will henceforth be known as "Holy Cow!"

Alex Rios: With it's connection to a certain Michael Caine film from 1984, "Blame it on" Rios is like shooting fish in a barrel. But there's no question that Rios has been blamed for a series of brain cramps this year, as the young slugger seems to have trouble keeping track of how many outs make up a half-inning. With that in mind, "Three Outs" Rios is a perfect way to pick up some publicity for the young slugger while reminding him about the importance of keeping his head in the game.

And speaking of games, it turns out that playing the nickname game is lots of fun. So, feel free to take advantage of the creative forum this space allows and help the Jays avoid lousy labels such as "Wellsy" and "Zauner" that have left us with modern monikers that are downright monotonous.

Let's see some of your suggestions.