CLEVELAND — Maybe it was the gray spring weather, making the summer sunshine seem a long way away. Maybe it was just knowing that for the second time in five playoff games, he’d come very close to being shut out.
Or the possibility — even the probability — that from here on in he’ll be taking the floor without his teammate, friend and fellow all-star.
Or the growing realization that he’s not matching wits with not only a great player in LeBron James, but the greatest of his generation who is fast-tracking his way into earnest discussions as the greatest of all time.
Or maybe … well, the list goes on.
But with all of that weighing on him, DeMar DeRozan seemed smaller than his normal self on Thursday as he tried to digest the first two games of his Toronto Raptors’ second-round series against James and the Cleveland Cavaliers, even as he and his teammates were trying to get their heads around Game 3 on Friday night at the Air Canada Centre.
DeRozan said before the playoffs that every waking moment of his off-season was driven by the Raptors’ post-season run last year, in which his own play was often scrutinized and seen as lacking against quality defences committed to stopping him before anyone else on the roster.
Even when in Brazil with the U.S. Olympic team, DeRozan was up at dawn doing his own workouts with his trainer. The morning after he signed his five-year, $137.5-million contract he shut the celebration down before midnight and was in the gym the next morning.
The result was a regular season a lifetime in the making — fifth-place in the NBA in scoring, rivalling Vince Carter’s peak for the best season in Raptors history. There were long stretches where he willed the Raptors to wins they had no business getting.
But on a cold, wet afternoon in May, DeRozan and the Raptors find themselves in the same spot they were a year ago, albeit in the second round instead of the Eastern Conference Finals: trailing 2-0 in their series with the Cavs, coming off two losses in which there was never a moment it looked like they could win.
All that work. All that looking ahead. All that hoping and dreaming.
And for what? Two more kicks in the gut with the NBA watching and now a third looming.
"It always sucks, just going down that way," DeRozan, slumped in his seat, arms folded over said of the blowout losses in Games 1 and 2. "It sucks and it’s even more frustrating. At least give ourselves a chance to be in the game. If we win we win, if we lose we lose and we understand what we gotta do if it’s a close game, going down the stretch. But losing that way, it’s definitely deflating."
The Raptors were down by 14 in each game at half to the defending champion Cavaliers and, were it not for a surge in garbage time of Game 1, would have lost both games by margins of well over 20 points. In five playoff games over two years against the Cavs, the Raptors are 0-5, have trailed by a total of 95 points at the half and lost by an average margin of 24 points.
And while the knowledge that the Raptors were in a comparable situation a year ago and responded with two wins at the ACC before bowing out in six would normally provide some comfort, if anything it seemed to make things worse in that tire-spinning kind of way.
"I can’t really put ‘em both together," said DeRozan. "…It sucks to renew the feeling that it took so long to get past last year."
If anything, the situation is more daunting now.
Of primary concern is the condition of Kyle Lowry’s left ankle, wrenched badly when Tristan Thompson threw Norm Powell into the star point guard’s leg. Lowry was making brave talk Wednesday about being ready for Game 3 but there didn’t seem to be much optimism 24 hours later. Raptors head coach Dwane Casey said Lowry was “questionable” for Game 3 and that he was getting an MRI Thursday afternoon.
DeRozan said seeing his friend and teammate sprawled on the floor at Quicken Loans Arena, writhing in pain, was just another blow. Lowry left the game, returned briefly and was last seen limping on his way to the team bus.
"[It] couldn’t get no worse," said DeRozan. "How things was going, see him down there, just hoping for the best … just one of them things, when it rains it pours at this point. It was one of them. To see him get up, continue to play, it was refreshing, but now to deal with whatever it is that’s bothering him now is gonna be another issue."
Lowry was instrumental in the Raptors winning two games at the ACC last year, scoring 55 points on 63 per cent shooting.
Now, trying to tie the series without Lowry, or a diminished version?
"A big problem," said DeRozan. "Kyle is our driving force, our point guard, our leader. So for us not to have him anything close to 100 per cent, it would be difficult on us."
As DeRozan spoke, looking both forward and back, there was a lot of ground to cover and, as it relates to the challenge the Raptors are facing, there wasn’t a lot of uplifting messaging.
Consider James, who is averaging 37 points, eight rebounds and four assists on 62 per cent shooting against the Raptors and 34/9/7 on 57 per cent shooting for the playoffs. In his 14th year he’s not slowing down, and is looming as the kind of insurmountable obstacle that ruins a career’s worth of dreams for players of the same vintage.
Once upon a time, Casey was an assistant coach for the Seattle Supersonics and helped orchestrate a defence that held Michael Jordan to 41.5 per cent shooting in the 1996 NBA Finals, the weakest showing of his career, although he was still awarded the Finals MVP and won the title.
But stopping James at the moment might be a taller order: "Right now LeBron is probably more in his prime or more athletic in speed than Michael had at that time," said Casey. "Michael was more of a stationary post-up one or two dribble type … He would pick you apart with the pass, didn’t shoot the three like LeBron is doing now, he didn’t get you in transition the way James is doing now. So, similar but different."
James’ athleticism is most evident on defence where he’s settled into a roamer role. The Cavs are sending soft double-teams at DeRozan — just enough for him to feel compelled to give up the ball. But because they don’t overcommit, the Cavaliers leave themselves plenty of time to recover. Then when the Raptors begin trying to swing the ball, James picks off passes in full flight like a humongous NFL cornerback.
Not only did the strategy limit DeRozan to five points — just the fifth time he’s been held under double figures in the post-season — he only took nine shots through three quarters, a sign his high-volume game was being turned completely inside out.
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DeRozan has plenty of history of bouncing back: in the four games after his previous single-digit playoff flubs he’s scored 34, 30, 34 and 33 points. So there is some optimism to be had there. And the Raptors were 15-7 without Lowry in the lineup this season, so they can grasp onto that if it comes to it.
The Raptors have no choice but to look for the rainbow when things seem their deepest gray.
But on the day after another brutal night at the office and the night before having a chance to make things right, regardless of the odds, DeRozan could only wait, the weight of his predicament on his chest, for the moment unmovable.
"The thing that sucks the most is the idle time of waiting," he said. "That’s the most frustrating part is just trying to keep the patience and play and just get this feeling off us. That’s the crappiest part about it."
Friday is another day and another chance. For the Raptors and DeRozan, that will have to be the bright side for now.
