Three months ago, the fighting world was shocked when Holly Holm knocked out one of the most prolific fighters on the UFC circuit.
For the defeated Ronda Rousey, who never lost a fight up until that November match, the aftermath of UFC 193 ran much deeper into her psyche.
In an interview on The Ellen DeGeneres Show Tuesday, Rousey opened up about her feelings following the devastating defeat, and even revealed that she had suicidal thoughts.
“In the medical room, I was down in the corner, I was sitting in the corner and I was like ‘what am I anymore if I’m not this?’” an emotional Rousey told DeGeneres. “And I was literally sitting there and thinking about killing myself in that exact second, I’m nothing. Like what do I do anymore? And no one gives an (expletive) about me anymore without this.”
Rousey said she looked to her boyfriend, UFC’s Travis Browne, for inspiration.
“I looked up and saw my man, Travis, was standing there,” Rousey said. “I’m looking up at him and was just like, ‘I need to have his babies. I need to stay alive.'”
Rousey also explained how things went wrong for her during the fight against Holm (who will fight Miesha Tate this March) saying she didn’t remember much of the short match.
“I was knocked off my feet the first time I was hit. It’s hard to really know what was going on,” she explained. “With that first hit I cut open my whole mouth and knocked my teeth loose … it was weird I had no perception, I felt like I couldn’t see. I could see but I couldn’t tell how far my hand was from my face or how far she was from me … I was swinging blindly… I really don’t remember most of it.”
Rousey, 29, said she intends to fight Holm again, though no timeline has been set.