They let Paris Hilton out of jail today after serving just three days of a three-week sentence for being a fool.
That means there’s a spot open in the California prison system and since the Ottawa Senators have time on their hands I thought I would offer up a list of possible replacements.
Jason Spezza could do with a little time in the box after his performance in the final against the Ducks of Anaheim.
I’ll go along with his statement that he just couldn’t find his game in the last go-round, but wouldn’t have it have been in his best interest and that of his team if he forged a new identity and did something to replace the offence that deserted him.
The charge: theft of services... or perhaps he could do the three weeks as a missing person, unidentified and a danger to himself.
Or how about Dany “One Goal” Heatley? He could get time for impersonating a 50-goal scorer.
Then of course there’s head coach Bryan Murray for aiding and abetting the Ducks as their former general manager. Their success was criminal against the Sens.
You might even want to see the Hockey Gods in the box for awhile just for baiting and switching in regards getting a Canadian team to the final and then turning their collective backs on them when it came down to winning.
It’s been 13 seasons since a Canadian-based team hoisted the club. There’ve been three straight appearances in the last three Cup-contested years: Calgary, Edmonton and Ottawa and still no winners.
Add your own.
i'll tell ya who should spend some time in jail... The "new" NHL! nothing new that night... the trap right from the get go. no flow, nothing, just a terrible hockey game. i would understand if the ducks skated all over the sens but all they did was clog up the neutral zone and waited for turn overs. welcome back old NHL, its not great to see you.
Don't Paris and Alfredson shop for skirts, heels and make-up together?
and I heard she lets Spezza and heatley carry her bags...
lmao
Senioritas live!
Redden, making 6.5 mil a year should be tossed in the can for robery (id say highway robery but he didnt show much speed)
Mezaros should be stripped of any medals cause he didn't show any heart
Phillips (maybe ottawa's most consistent playoff performer ever) should be sent to some therapy cause the poor mofo couldn't catch a break
Oh well, at least we have next year to look forward to. Cause we basically have the same team coming back. The leafs have nic antropov to look forward to. So they should be excited as well.
No team toughness and weak goaltending – same as it ever was for the Senators since their inception. You’re not likely going to read an Ottawa sports writer making that point on the record, the whinging sycophantic cheerleaders. Yet, is there one reader out there who denies it? Both the team and its sports writers are a product of the city's environment. Whinging. P.S. Chris Neil is a baby when Brian McGrattan is not dressed.
All the players you mentioned should have been locked up for theft, they were getting paid to play hockey and didn't, which means they stole the money that was given to them by the team. The other person who should be locked up on the sens is ray emery for impersonating patrick lalime, giving up goals when the team really needed the save, very lalime-like.
Also alfredsson for impersonating a captain, the captain of any NHL team should have class enough to not shoot directly at an opposing player unless its the opposing teams goaltender. It was a classless act and alfredsson should be suspended for intent to injure.
I'm with you. The Sens don't ever seem to get the right character guy. Neil is okay for some things but where's their Penner or Goring. Every team needs those guys to blossom at the right time.
How about Jim Kelley for not even having Scott Neidermayer in his top five in his "Conn Smythe Predictor" and then miraculously moving him to the #1 spot AFTER SCOTTY WON IT? Hey, I thought Giguere was going to take the honors again, so I certainly didn't wake up this morning and say "I predicted Scott Neidermayer and here's 3 reasons why..."
I guess that's no real crime...but pretty pathetic.
Maybe we should add Chris Phillips to the list for the crime of agrivated assault against his own net.
I'd like to start this post by stating that I am unbelievably proud of the Sens for the long playoff run this spring. I'll have to admit that my expectations going into the post season were guarded at best, but I was pleasantly suprised by the way the boys handled themselves through the first 3 rounds.
Having said that, Wade Redden should be tried for impersonating a $6.5M defenceman. All the evidence the prosecution would need to prove the case can be found on the Anaheim bench, in the form of Scott Niedermayer and Chris Pronger. Both of these guys played like the "elite" defencemen they are paid to be. Redden, on the other hand, looked like a no. 5 or 6 defenceman in the Finals. Soft on the puck, unable to break the fierce Anaheim forecheck with a precise first pass, and slow to recover when beaten 1-on-1.
As a Sens fan who watches all the games very closely, I understand the team's record with Redden in the line-up vs. their record when he is out, but a big part of me still hoes the rumours of him going to Edmonton this summer are true. Meszaros is developing and Corvo showed he can carry more of a load as the playoffs went on. Plus, freeing up $6.5M in cap space would be something that could really help the Sens build on all the positives from this year while adding some additional size and grit.
Just my $.02 of course.
What's criminal is everyone saying the Cup didn't come to Canada. You look at each one of the 18 Canadians on the Ducks with that Cup over their head, family in the stands, all talking on camera about the sacrifices made and hard work from backyard rinks and bus trips through rural Ontario, Saskatchewan, etc. and how they'll all be spending their 24 hours with the Cup in their home town, offering hundreds or thousands of Canadian locals the opportunity to share their joy. I was smiling ear to ear as I watched all those players embrace a championship, something us as a country should be awfully proud of, regardless of where the actual celebration is or where the players go into work every day.
To me, the Cup is back in Canada.
How about Alfie with his "skate-by shooting" on Neidermeyer?
Or maybe Redden, who's gone completely AWOL with his defensive skills throughout the play-offs, much less the Finals. His "failure to appear" defensively *warrants* an explanation.
Hell - there were so many turnovers by the Sens as a whole that they could have opened up their own bakery!
... and I'm a die-hard Sens fan! Sheesh!
Other than that - at least they made it to the last dance, and that's more than they can say for 28 other teams, so they have everything to be proud of - even if they didn't show up to play in those 5 games.
If you are indeed addressing this to Sens fans, then I suggest "you" for crimes of repetition and predictability. Let's celebrate this team: I know I do.
How about three weeks minus a day in prison for those who forget that the Stanley Cup is a competition between cities, not states.
Or, sentence this passionately nationalistic Canadian and Ducks fan to two weeks six days with Paris Hilton!
Again, it's pretty easy to say Spezza and Heatley played bad (and they did), but let's keep in mind the leaders in Anaheim had WAY more experience for these big-time situations.
Niedermayer, Pronger, Selanne (Worlds/Olympics), even Rob Niedermayer had been here before and all felt the agony of losing.
Like the 83 Oilers, maybe this is what they needed to take it to the next level down the road. We'll see.
If you want to see a Canadian team win the cup, even up the schedule. When teams like Colorado miss the playoffs and the Islanders get in, you know htere is something twisted going on. You even up the sched and you will see more Canadian teams in the top 16. Better your odds and it will happen.
btw, anyone with any common sense knew that no matter who came out of the east, the west was gonna win it.
I believe a couple of charges are due.
First, a charge of desertion to Colin Campbell for once again letting down the game on two accounts - refusing to punish Chris Neil for his head hunting and also for giving Pronger one measly game.
Second is to the same hockey gods you mention for abuse of power, but this time for their actions against Oiler fans. To go from a cup final appearance to the forced trades of their best players in recent memory, the endless injuries, 2-20 down the stretch and the final insult - giving the cup to Pronger.
I'll send Comrie away for impersonating an NHL player.No goals in 17 playoff games?????
A life sentence is order for Wade Redden. Crime impersonating being a living, thinking,human being.
Fortunately Comrie is free to pursue the almight U.S. dollar.Hey Mike it's not that big a gap anymore BTW.
Can't sentence Heatley, punishment enough he's from Calgary.
Jim Kelley: Charged with impersonating a journalist.
It's too bad your Sabres weren't there to get Anaheim steamrolled by the Ducks, Jim, I would have greatly enjoyed watching that go down.
FORGET the jail and lets talk Mental Health Center (that's LOONY BIN for the Leafers).
Reading the asinine comments from some Leaf fans in here, I just wanted to point out to you guys that your comments are irrelevant.
You see, you actually have to make the playoffs for us to care about what you have to say!
You are probably escapees from the padded room. Right...
All signs point to another playoff miss for Toronto next season (the REAL choking dogs).
Good comments. I agree with the Spezza and Heatly slams. As far as Redden ? he's the highest paid Senator and hasn't had a good season overall. Adios amigo. Oh, almost forgot, speaking of crimes...how bout that Yashin? Cheer up Leaf fans he'd look great in blue and white!
The Senators had a great season. 28 other teams would have enjoyed their success. Their fans wanted more, but are nevertheless proud!
To all you Sens fans getting on the Buds about signing Nic, well listen to this pieve of truth. Gerber is your goalie next year. Emery will be too expensive unless you get rid of some of your skill players. Just a taste of the saeon to come. Remember the home opener in Ottawa? 6-0. It sure made me forget the 4-1 opening night loss in Toronto. Remember the start to your last season until Emery came in. Think on that before predicting the Sens win the cup next year.
notalivein67, you may have not been alive in 1967.
But you're still not breathing in 2007...
Question
If the Senators take shots when they are Eastern Champs...what does that make the other Canadian teams who couldn't even make the playoffs????...sure Leaf fans..make fun of the only Canadian team to make it to the big dance..just make sure to remember that Ottawa fans have had 2 months of hockey fun while you could only dream of what it would be like to watch your team in the playoffs..make fun of the Sens but I find solice in having three Sens lead the playoffs in scoring..having Alfie score more playoff goals than any other playoff player..and having seen the Sens make the playoffs for 10 years straight...maybe not with success..but with enough passion to at least make it to post season play...go ahead and laugh Leaf fans..go ahead.
Lets see here..
If I were to choose between my Sens making the finals and another team not making the playoffs...hmmmm
This is my my story and i'm sticking to it!!!!!!!The officiating has to be reviewed inside and out!!!!!They call the stupidest penalties and let the real hard core ones go.They've done it all year and they did it throughout the play-offs.Quack Quack they gave the ducks the cup right off the get go the other nite.5 on 3 to start things off.Thats all BS!!!!!!Plus I don't even like Ottawa or the stupid Ducks!!!!!!!That's the new NHL Betteman and the Ducks.What load of heifer dust.Oh by the way congrats to Dipenta good Nova Scotia boy along with ex Halifax grad Giguere.Thats Hockey!!!!!
Hey Jim and non Sens fans....instead of cutting up the Eastern Conf Champs...cut up the teams who have been golfing for 2 months
O boy...
Should moves be made this off season?
YES
Should moves have been made TRADE DEADLINE!?
YESS
Ottawa still has a long way to go.
i mean LONG
Redden should have been traded at the trade deadline for a quality D-Man that can be relied on, can move his feet, and actually hit (Sheldon Souray sounds EXCELLENT right now)
Murray will stay and so will almost everyone else...
Emery and Redden are the question marks right now.
Emery should stay but you never know.
maybe next year Sens fans
What Sens fans don't seem to realize is that the only reason we're even talking about your team is they made it farther then our teams. But we still hate the Sens. A European team in Canada basically. Heatley, Spezza, Fisher and Emery. That's the Canadian Content that mattered for you guys. And that by far wasn't enough. I can't speak for anyone else but I hate ottawa because of the past. Hossa nailing Berard, Alfie nailing tucker from behind (no call) and then scoring the gwg. Oh and 4 playoff rounds really do get the hate on. I was going for any team but ottawa this year. Don't give me the Jealousy thing or i wouldn't have even bothered to watch the playoffs at all cause The Leafs didn't make it. I just hate Ottawa. 15 other teams made it and I was indeifferent to atleast 12 of them. I don't like Crosby but I love the Penguins(my#2 team). I was sort of cheering for Ottawa against NJ only because NJ basically didn't play their last regular season game until the last 5 minutes (Leafs own fault for needing that though). As for Buffalo, they played the Canadian Anthem before every home game in the playoffs, regardless of if there was a Canadian team playing. I hated Buffalo since the Hasek/Nolan thing but they got me back after that. So in conclusion, it's not jealousy as to why I hate the Sens. I just don't like the players or the fans really. Like take the oilers. I didn't care about them till all their fans came on these and started bashing the Leafs. But, their team is even more irrelevant then the Leafs so I'll leave that alone. So as free agency begins, We need a winger, or two. And to stay healthy and then I guarantee we make the playoffs and go atleast to the conf final as we are more a playoff team then a regular season team but we need to get better in the season or their will continue to be no playoffs.
Go leafs Go
see...here`s the thing SEN -oritas , your cream-puff little team losing the Stanley Cup Final is just as good as the Leafs winning the cup to us .
I feel bad for guys like Fischer and Emery , REAL hockey players saddled with a bunch of girlies .
I have one word 4 Sens fans ..."WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA" !!
Im confused. during season everybody said Ottawa had one of the best defence corps in NHL if not the best. Now they blame Heatley and Spezza for playoff losses.. Yet the ducks just overwhelme the Sens defence and kept possession of the puck.. how could the forwards score from their own end of the ice.. ??
notalivein67
don't forget Barrasso breaking Perraluts forearmarm on his wrap around!!
haha and add Al"afraid"son's shooting the puck at Niedemyer, as well as the hit from behind in Buffalo!
haha Senioritas!!!!
-clucking noises.
How about Jim Kelly for Impersonating a Sports Writer?
No team toughness and weak goaltending – same as it ever was for the Senators since their inception. You’re not likely going to read an Ottawa sports writer making that point on the record, the whinging sycophantic cheerleaders. Yet, is there one reader out there who denies it? Both the team and its sports writers are a product of the city's environment. Whinging. P.S. Chris Neil is a baby when Brian McGrattan is not dressed.
James, is that you?
Sen's never really had much of a chance.They were forechecked and backchecked to death!!!!!!Plus they were creamed every single second they had puck.
Yes, the Ducks certainly owned the Senators in this Cup series and should get full marks. However, couldn't help but notice that this was yet another trigger for per-usual bashing from the nation.
Hey nation, thanks for all of the advice and everything, but do try to remember that your one of 6 or 7 teams that haven't even made a Cup final since 1967, and haven't even made the playoffs in the last 2 years.
Now, there's the real crime.
whens the last time the leafs made the playoffs shut up leaf fans at least my team can make the playoffs and not choke in the regular season and if i can add more the leafs depend on other teams to even make the playoffs Thanks ISLANDERS
GO SENS GOOOOOOOOOOOOO
sundin should retire and mccabe should be kicked out of the league for making soooo much money for nothing and rising the bar for a d-man id understand if a guy like volchenkov or nidermier would to get it but mccabe scores a couple of one times on 5-3 power plays and the next year 5.5mil GIVE ME A BREAK.......leaf fans spend your time finding ottawas weaknesses cause after april yous normaly have nothign to do
Sure are a bunch of Fairweather Johnson's in here. The Ducks, as much as it pains to say, had a great playoff run and the better team won.
Slagging the Sens now isn't fair especially after many people in here were blowing smoke up their rumps for the first 3 rounds.
It's not fair to The Ducks who played great hockey and not fair to the Sens who had a great run and got beat by a better TEAM ... not better individuals!
How about Gary Bettman in jail for the way he treats real hockey fans. He could share a cell with NBC for the way they strongarmed thier way to any game they wanted and when they wanted.
Hey NUFFSAID....colorado is not a canadian team....just a heads up.