First of all, a big thanks to everyone who submitted responses in my Facebook friends contest last week. I will announce the winner in next week's space, but I figured I should devote this week's blog to the upcoming trade deadline.
Over the next few days, you will be overwhelmed with trade rumours involving your favourite teams in the NHL. Most of the experts will be talking about how teams need to make moves to improve their goaltending, defence or locker room chemistry.
But you won't find that in this blog. I find all that serious hockey talk boring at this time of year.
Who cares if the Flames need a backup goalie? And let me guess...every contender is looking for a Top 6 forward and some help on the blueline. Earth-shattering stuff.
So, instead of listening to all of the serious rumours, let's have a little fun. Here are 10 trades I'd like to see on the deadline from a purely comedic standpoint:
The Trade: St. Louis sends Brad Boyes to Atlanta in exchange for Bryan Little.
The Punchline: The NHL has been desperate to attract the attention of top-flight celebrities. Michael Jackson will become very interested in hockey when he hears about the Little-Boyes trade.
The Trade: St. Louis sends T.J. Oshie to Tampa Bay in exchange for Martin St. Louis.
The Punchline: St. Louis becomes the first player in NHL history who can actually claim he is playing for the name on the back of his jersey.
The Trade: Los Angeles sends Jarret Stoll to Ottawa for Brian Lee and a 2nd-round pick.
The Punchline: Can you imagine a night where Carrie Underwood, Rachel Hunter and Hilary Duff attend a Senators game at Scotiabank Place? C'mon Bryan Murray - make this trade and I promise to never criticize any of your moves at the deadline.
The Trade: Pittsburgh sends Miroslav Satan to New Jersey for Jay Pandolfo and a 2nd-round pick.
The Punchline: A Satan wearing a Devils jersey is long overdue. And I'm pretty sure Lou Lamoriello makes most of his hockey decisions based on what he thinks people might find funny.
The Trade: Columbus sends Rick Nash and a 1st-round pick to Pittsburgh for Evgeni Malkin.
The Punchline: Pittsburgh's top line with Crosby, Staal and Nash would be great for fans of classic rock. And it would be the best musical combo in the NHL since Hull & Oates were ripping it up for the Blues.
The Trade: Tampa Bay sends Gary Roberts to Ottawa in exchange for a 4th-round pick.
The Punchline: Would anyone else find it funny that the Senators finally land Roberts in a season in which they likely miss the playoffs?
The Trade: Detroit sends Jimmy Howard and a 2nd-round pick to Anaheim in exchange for Jonas Hiller.
The Punchline: It's been more than 20 years since I could make a timely Howard The Duck reference...and I'm getting a little impatient.
The Trade: Buffalo sends Derek Roy to Montreal for a 1st-round pick.
The Punchline: How awesome would it be to see the confusion in the faces of Habs fans when they learn how to pronounce Roy's last name?
The Trade: A three-way deal: San Jose sends Jonathan Cheechoo to Ottawa. The Senators send Jarkko Ruutu to Nashville. The Predators send Jordin Tootoo to the Sharks.
The Punchline: Try saying Ruutu-Cheechoo-Tootoo five times fast.
The Trade: NY Islanders send Freddy Meyer to Toronto in exchange for Jeff Finger.
The Punchline: Garth Snow can claim that Freddy got Finger. (And I can be the first person in history to use two of the worst movies of all time - Howard The Duck and Freddy Got Fingered - in a trade deadline blog).