Selling a timeshare in Afghanistan is likely easier than trying to sell tickets to the Phoenix Coyotes.
Ring… ring… ring…
'Hello."
"Hello, I'm calling on behalf of the Phoenix Coyotes wondering if you would be interested in purchasing tickets for the 2009-10 season?"
"The team is staying in Phoenix?"
"We think so."
"Will Wayne Gretzky still be the coach"
"Uh, we're not 100 per cent certain."
"Has the team acquired any big-name talent?"
"Lauri Korpikoski."
"Never heard of her."
"So, what do you say, would you like to buy tickets."
Click.
There has been so much talk about the state of the Phoenix Coyotes off the ice this summer, one could be forgiven for forgetting they actually have to put a product on the ice. And who wants to watch a lame duck hockey team…a lame duck hockey team that has missed the playoff six seasons running and has precious little chance of making them this season?
No matter who ends up owning this hockey team when the dust settles in Judge Redfield T. Baum's courtroom, who the heck is going to want to pay to see them play? Especially knowing this will likely be the team's final season in the desert. The Hockey News has picked the Coyotes to finish 15th in the Western Conference and I suspect when other pre-season predictions arrive they won't fair much better.
With all due respect to Matthew Lombardi, a player I quite like, he is listed as the Coyotes' No. 1 centre on their depth chart. Lombardi has one 20-goal season to his credit and managed 14 in 69 games split between Calgary and Phoenix last year. His career best in points is 46. For the record, his 46 points last season placed him 134th in league scoring.
I think you get my point. For a team that scored 208 goals last season while allowing 252, having a checker whose hands rarely keep up to his feet as your No. 1 centre is not ideal.
Captain Shane Doan is a bona fide star; a world-class player with a very good shot at representing Canada at the 2010 Winter Olympics in Vancouver, but he cannot carry this team by himself. And the kids who will one day lend Doan a hand, hopefully before he's Done, well, they aren't ready for prime time. The reality is it is unclear exactly what the upside is for the likes of Peter Mueller, Mikkel Boedker and Victor Tikhonov, the Coyotes Kids. The might be OK, or they just might get swallowed up in the quagmire that is currently the Coyotes organization.
The team's other veterans are mostly middle-of-the-road players with limited value and upside. So unless Ilya Bryzgalov stands on his head in net, it will likely be another looooong year.
And what is to become of Gretzky? The highest scorer in NHL history appears to be making a gradual transition from superstar to coach, and there is no question he is starting to have an impact on the team's young players. At the end of the day, though, his team recorded two fewer wins last season than the year before and once again failed to make the playoffs. Maybe that is simply a reflection of the club's decision to insert so many youngsters into the lineup, but the coach is usually the one who takes the hit when things don't go well.
Gretzky deserves another shot at coaching this team, but his pay check - reported to be in the neighborhood of $8 million a year - might not be so attractive to a new owner.
Last year really seemed to take a toll on The Great One. He looked stressed and frazzled beyond belief as the 82-game regular season wore down.
And how about poor GM Don Maloney? Here's a guy trying to carve a niche for himself as the architect of a hockey team and he's forced to operate with one - make that both - of his hands tied behind his back.
It will take a miracle for the Coyotes to make the playoffs this season, especially with all the distractions the players will face once things kick off. The Western Conference will once again be very competitive and when you take a look at the teams from the West that didn't make the playoffs last season - Minnesota, Nashville, Edmonton, Dallas and Los Angeles all stand a greater chance of making it in this year ahead of Phoenix.
The Coyotes have a small, dedicated following, but that will not be enough to keep this franchise afloat. And even if the team gets a better arena deal, chances are very slim it will be enough to make the club significantly more financially viable. So even if a new owner agrees to keep the team in Phoenix, how long with that last?
A year? Two?
In the meantime, fans in Phoenix are left with an inferior product and the knowledge their team is skating on thin ice. Doesn't that just make you want to dig deep into your pockets to spend your ever-shrinking disposable income on watching them play?
