On Wednesday night, I will be taking part in a hockey pool.
The problem that I face on draft day is that everybody considers me to be the expert at the table. Who is on the Blue Jackets’ second power play unit? Where is Jussi Jokinen on the Hurricanes depth chart? When is Rick DiPietro coming back?
Hey, Ian should know the answer to that.
Truth is, I usually Google my way out of trouble, discreetly using my blackberry under the table.
But when it comes to drafting a fantasy team, there are a few expert tips I can pass along:
Be a rumour monger
In the days leading up to the draft, make sure to send out e-mails with fake news items to plant seeds of doubt in your opponents. False headlines like "Getzlaf targeting return in March" and "Kariya guarantees 100 points" should be effective. And when you're at the draft table, don't feel bad about saying things like, "Who else is on the first unit power play with Georges Laraque in Montreal?"
Age should be a top factor
As a general rule of thumb, you shouldn't draft guys that were in NHL '94 -- even if they had a 90 rating. And if the guy played with the Hartford Whalers, that should also be a huge red flag. Apologies to Brendan Shanahan, as these tips are a double-whammy against him.
Marian Gaborik = Fred Taylor
If you utter the phrase "If he just stays healthy" within ten seconds of making the pick, you should be concerned. For the better part of a decade, my fantasy football team was ruined because I was repeatedly seduced by Fred Taylor on draft day. (And yes, it's totally acceptable to use the term "seduced" when talking about a player. We've all been there before) But Taylor would inevitably get hurt by Week 5 and I would go scrambling to pluck a crappy Rams backup like Trung Candidate or Amp Lee off the waiver wire. The same principle applies in hockey drafts.
Pre-season stats don't matter
There are still people walking around Ottawa with Brandon Bochenski jerseys, after he lit it up in the pre-season with Jason Spezza and Dany Heatley a few years ago. Vancouver fans still remember Jason King and "The Mattress Line". But if you took Bochenski or King in a hockey pool after their great pre-seasons, you probably got burned. Guys who tear it up in training camp rarely keep it going well into the regular season. I predict a rash of people in the 416-area code will be taking Viktor Stalberg way too early.
The name of the game
Don't try to draft guys for the sole purpose of having a cool team name. I met a guy last year who drafted Mike Fisher in the fifth round and then used his last pick to take Kyle Chipchura, just so his team nickname could be Fish and Chips. Poor drafting + Poor Use of Puns = Last Place Finish.
The Petr Principle Make sure you get a list of which players are set to be unrestricted free agents next summer. Back in the day, you only wanted to draft Petr Nedved when his contract was expiring. For some reason, he always seemed to be a 30-goal guy when that happened. On a side note, I smell a big year for Slava Kozlov in Atlanta.
KHL Jumping
Also, make sure you know which players have bolted for the riches of the KHL. You don't want to be the guy who drafts Sergei Fedorov in the sixth round, only to find out that points for Merallurg Magnitogorsk don't count in your pool.
