They remind you of a Tragically Hip song, these Columbus Blue Jackets. A decade in the National Hockey League, and they've never won a single playoff game
Thirty-eight years old, and never kissed a girl.
And now, Columbus has become the NHL's ultimate inverse reaction: The more ownership spends, the less the team wins; the more general manager Scott Howson fills his roster with recognizable names, the less the good people of Columbus come out to watch them.
The Blue Jackets are suddenly the sixth highest spending team in the league, yet lie 29th in home attendance, averaging 11,394 a night. An 18,000-seat arena that is held up as the template for downtown arenas in envious cities like Edmonton, welcomed just 9,158 (announced) for Tuesday's game against Dallas.
Even the city of Columbus has dug deep for the team, recently funneling casino money into a fund to buy Nationwide Arena and secure the Blue Jackets in Columbus until 2039.
Which begs the question: Is Columbus -- one of Gary Bettman's non-traditional forays into the heart of college football country -- simply a bad hockey market? Or is it a market that has grown sour on bad hockey?
Well, after a decade with one playoff appearance -- swept by Detroit in 2009 -- the team has started the 2011-12 season with six consecutive losses and a 0-5-1 record. Can it all be about James Wisniewski's eight-game suspension and Jeff Carter (broken foot) being placed on injured reserve?
"There's more to it," Howson said on Wednesday. "Injuries are a fact of life in the NHL, and you have to be able to overcome them. You can't say we can't win without Jeff and James. You just have to find a way. We haven't been able to do that."
Find a way, find their way -- whatever. The Jackets have been searching in the Western Conference wilderness for a decade now, and have found nothing.
Now ownership even opened up the payroll. Their reward? Two goals per game -- no more, no less.
"And two goals is not going to win many games in this league. It isn't enough," Howson explained. "Coming into the season there were very high expectations for our team, based on the roster that was assembled and the commitment from ownership. We haven't started well, so that pressure has increased."
Ownership clearly has committed the dollars necessary to win here. Howson has gathered a decent array of talent. The city is spending its share. The only group that hasn't delivered here is the players -- many of whom are on comfortable, long-term deals.
"If we knew (the problem) we wouldn't be losing," explained defenceman Fedor Tyutin, who begins a six-year extension next season. "Obviously, there is a problem somewhere, with something. We better figure it out, quick."
It is time for Rick Nash, the face of this franchise, to get something done that justifies the eight-year deal he signed a year ago. For the oft-suspended Wisniewski to reign himself in, quit getting suspended, and become a leader who can be counted on for the next six years of his new deal.
"You want to identify your core players," Howson began. "Rick Nash, Jeff Carter, R.J. Umberger, Fedor Tyutin, James Wisniewski… We have faith and belief in those players we've committed to long-term. Those players have to lead the way."
Carter's injury is a crippler. The fact the organization has had four goalies injured of late would be worse, if one of their names were Steve Mason.
But the starter is healthy -- he just isn't playing anywhere near the level that earned him the Calder Trophy in 2009. In fact, he's been in the crapper ever since.
When the Jackets desperately needed goaltending Tuesday vs. Dallas, Mason allowed a soft Steve Ott goal early in the second period of a scoreless game. The Jackets lost 3-2, and to folks in Buckeye country, they look like the same old group again this season.
"The fans are avoiding Nationwide Arena like a nuclear-waste dump," writes Bob Hunter in the Columbus Dispatch.
"It's awfully early," counters Howson. "We've got to give this some time. Let the players find their way together. I know time is of the essence… but you can't just react after six games."
How about after 10 years?
Mark Spector is the senior columnist on sportsnet.ca
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