NHL Power Rankings: Run-On Sentence Edition

Tuukka Rask and Cam Talbot brought the acrobatics, while Roberto Luongo and Jacob Markstrom took over games.

We break down the week for all 30 NHL teams in just one sentence, albeit a long one, so take deep breath and watch as we spill some knowledge and mess up some commas in our NHL Power Rankings: The Run-On Sentence Edition.

Rank Team
1

Only twice in 2016 have the Washington Capitals lost a game by more than a one-goal margin, and in Monday’s statement game they snuffed an 11-game winning streak of the…

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2

…Ducks, who established a club record with that run and have tallied up 38 standings points in their last 21 games and shot to the top of the Pacific, while over in the other ocean-named division…

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3

…the Lightning had their own incredible win streak (nine games) squashed as well but enjoyed some good news as GM Steve Yzerman won his stalemate with Jonathan Drouin…

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4

…who had been rumoured as a trade-deadline target of the Blues, a Central Division club now within striking distance of Dallas and the…

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5

…Blackhawks, who still lead the West with a plus-31 goal differential and are getting set to welcome back Marian Hossa, a European vet who has been dealing with an injury, not unlike…

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6

…defenceman Marek Zidlicky, whose Islanders completed an epic road trip in which they won six of seven games, then added a home W Tuesday, making them only slightly hotter than…

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7

…the Predators’ second line of Filip Forsberg, Mike Ribeiro and Craig Smith, a trio that exploded for 45 points in a 13-game span and have the Preds back in playoff position, much like…

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8

…the resurgent Sharks, whose captain, Joe Pavelski, already has 31 goals on the season, now leads the NHL with nine game-winners and was a slam-dunk for Team USA’s World Cup roster, which was not the case for…

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9

…Boston’s Brad Marchand, who trumps Pavelski with 34 goals and counting and could provide the nasty Team Canada needs to balance out the pure skill of forwards like…

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10

…Jamie Benn and Tyler Seguin, Dallas’s offensive engine, which was complemented by trade-deadline pickup Kris Russell, who earned his first point as a Star this week but will never reach…

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11

…300 career goals, a mark reached by Jeff Carter of the Kings, whose power-ranking is stuck at 11 after their two losses in quick succession to Anaheim, a bitter rival on par with the disdain…

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12

…injured Rangers netminder Henrik Lundqvist showed towards the referees and his net, the one he flipped off its moorings out of disgust in a game against the…

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13

…Penguins, who should be able to hang on to their playoff spot thanks to Sidney Crosby — top six in scoring, with a bullet — and Evgeni Malkin and Marc-Andre Fleury, arguably the best Canadian at his position left off the World Cup team, and the same could be said for…

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14

…Philadelphia’s Claude Giroux, whose improving Flyers have the best shot to hop Detroit for the final wild-card spot in the East, a conference that has been blessed…

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15

…by the career of Jaromir Jagr, who surpassed Gordie Howe Monday and became the NHL’s third all-time leading scorer, a feat all the more impressive when you consider the 44-year-old is out-scoring…

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16

…every member of the Wild, who have turned their season around since the coaching change and are in a dogfight for the final wild-card spot in the West with…

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17

…Colorado, a team that desperately needs its No. 1 goalie, Semyon Varlamov, to play like one, which he did with a 37-save masterpiece in his return from backup duty this week, a week that also saw…

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18

…the Senators — Canada’s last gasp for a playoff team — lose a key piece, rugged defenceman Mark Borowiecki, long-term due to an MCL tear — quite the blow, which is what the city of…

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19

…Detroit will feel if the Red Wings continue to falter down the stretch here and whiff on a post-season berth for the first time in 25 seasons, which is the length of time it must feel like for…

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20

…fans of the Hurricanes since their home team was relevant in March, a month that began with zero Carolina players being named to the World Cup rosters, a list that features…

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21

…the piping-hot Jack Eichel, who became the youngest Sabre in history to score 20 goals and on Thursday brings his talents to…

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22

…Montreal, where MVP Carey Price has been joined in sick bay with what must feel like half the roster, and the Canadiens, formerly the NHL’s top squad, could actually finish the season with fewer points than…

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23

…Columbus, who started the season in 30th place but are now ranked higher than five Canadian clubs, including…

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24

…the Jets, whose silver lining can be found in Second Star of the week Mark Scheifele, a contract-year guy who exploded for six goals in four games but still has fewer goals than fellow RFA-to-be…

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25

…Kyle Palmieri of the Devils, a club whose recent swoon coincides with a significant MCL sprain suffered by lifesaver Cory Schneider, which essentially ends the Devils’ playoff hopes — something…

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26

…the Canucks should’ve abandoned well before the trade deadline so that they could’ve shed some salary, yet declining Vancouver will stick with coach Willie Desjardins in 2016-17, a season the…

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27

…Flames aspire to start with a bona fide No. 1 goaltender between the pipes, an asset that provincial rival…

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28

…Edmonton looks to have finally found in Cam Talbot, whose .981 save percentage last week earned him First Star honours from the NHL, a league that still includes the…

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29

…Arizona Coyotes, who would love nothing more than to pull off a draft lottery win and steal local boy Auston Matthews from the atrocious…

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30

…Toronto Maple Leafs, the only NHL team still searching for its 10th home victory.

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