NHL Power Rankings: The Haiku Edition

Patrik Laine took the NHL lead in goals with the second hat trick of his rookie season, lifting the Winnipeg Jets over the Dallas Stars 8-2 on Tuesday night.

Awake to a world
Confused, angry and in fear
Turn to poetry

Yes, it’s the annual NHL Power Rankings: Haiku Edition, because when we have no answers to big problems, we go in a corner and write silly hockey art.

Rank Team Previous
1

Give us your poor, your
hungry, your Anisimov,
Even your Panik

 3
2

Duck, hide, turn your face
He’s winding up, be afraid
Shea Weber’s slap shot

 1
3

J.T. Miller scores,
Jimmy Vesey can score more,
Grabner scores still more?!

 2
4

The nice guy tries hard,
loves the game, wins Stanley Cup
Phil for President

 8
5

Another tip-top
Regular season means zip
If Ovie don’t sip

 4
6

Sidney, Auston, Jack…
Connor vs. Er’body
The future is now

 6
7

Jon Quick, Jeff Zatkoff
Peter Budaj, Jack Campbell,
Jonah Imoo, Dad

 30
8

Taylor Hall lives up,
Cammalleri scores hat trick,
Better than you think

 15
9

Points in seven of
Last nine games is a nice sign
A good run, Randy

 20
10

Pucks, they kept whizzing
Past Al, no pull, less mercy
10-Oh Columbus

 13
11

See, Trouba, I told
You to give in, come back, skate
With love, Jonathan

 7
12

Is this de ja vu,
Bad dream, or anesthesia?
Zach is week-to-week

 5
13

Press box view, distant
Healthy yet dressed in suit, tie
Nailed hard to the bench

 14
14

A real-life challenge
Shrinks our make-believe sports world
Nicolle Anderson

 10
15

Pricey construction
Torn cathedral… So long, Joe
Hail Little Caesar

 9
16

Rink air whips through it
Loosens morning Cheerios
From Joe Thornton’s beard

 11
17

Teenage rookies shine,
Best players are best players,
Killer power play

 18
18

Stick arms, stick in arm
Preying mantis on skates strikes
Zdeno Chara

 23
19

Ryan O’Reilly
Rasmus Ristolainen, yes
Sabres roll their R’s

 19
20

Mullets will get trimmed
Party in back, pay up front
Vinnie’s Barber Shop

 12
21

Winnipeg winter
Cold, stubborn, like a GM
Welcome back, Jacob

 25
22

Buries face in hands
Turns red with embarrassment
Picked Preds to win Cup

 22
23

Is third goalie good?
Suppose we’ll never find out
J.F. Berube

 17
24

Freddie’s good, I swear
Rebuild lookin’ halfway there
Livin’ on a prayer

 27
25

Spezza down, Sharp too
Hemsky, Eakin, Hudler — lost
Injured forward pile

 21
26

Where art Dave Bolland?
Who pays Pronger and Dastyuk?
Grow off dead money

 28
27

On ice, Monahan
Boring is not so funny
Johnny B. Average

 24
28

New car smell wears off,
Coach Bednar can’t hold the puck,
Last in the Central

 16
29

East’s worst team, bar none
Injuries, goalies… egad!
Quebec licks its chops

 29
30

Vicious hits come late,
Goals come hardly, anger boils
Matt Martin is dead

 26

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