There can never be too many sports movies, yet somehow it never seems like there are enough. So we set out to pitch the next great one. Here’s what we came up with.
TITLE: Contract Killer
TAGLINE: He had a player option… to die.
SYNOPSIS: Mason Oliver (Michael Keaton) is at a loss. He’s the general manager of the Sacramento Kings, and the roster he put together is performing far below expectations; his salary-cap situation is bleak, and his owner (Dennis Haysbert) is demanding an immediate turnaround. Refusing to take responsibility for the debacle, Oliver blames it all on shooting guard George Dreen (Ashton Kutcher), a former No. 1–overall pick and one of the biggest busts in league history. Out of options to rid the team of Dreen’s big-money contract, Oliver starts thinking outside the box—maybe a bit too far outside the box.
After finding a loophole in the CBA, he learns that a player’s salary can come off the books… if he happens to die. So Oliver puts a plan into action. Through a childhood acquaintance fresh out of prison (Danny DeVito), he gets in contact with a hitman (Zac Efron), and the “problem” goes away thanks to a freak boating accident.
The team rallies after Dreen’s untimely passing and makes a push for the title, but Oliver struggles with the decision he’s made, especially after coming under investigation by local detectives (Kiefer Sutherland, Halle Berry) and receiving cryptic letters… from Dreen.
TITLE: All the Singles, Ladies
TAGLINE: Home runs are for chumps.
SYNOPSIS: Sasha (Kristen Wiig), Carol (Maya Rudolph) and the all-female EnerComm Swingers are languishing at the bottom of the standings in Seattle’s second-largest company softball league. Then the recession hits, jobs come under fire and wins are suddenly in even shorter supply than usual. Things hit a nadir when Carol takes a position at a rival tech firm… and joins their softball team. That’s when Sasha decides the Swingers need to embrace their inner Ichiro Suzukis and focus on getting on base versus hunting for homers. But can it take them to the title?
TITLE: The Safety in Netminders
TAGLINE: Goalies are weird. It’s their cover.
SYNOPSIS: Bobby Grimm (Will Smith) is the No. 1 goaltender for pro hockey’s Pittsfield Pythons—and one of a network of keepers who protect the world against all manner of threats. From 7 to 9:30 p.m., he’s between the pipes, but off hours he’s between a rock and the hard place of international security. When an American passenger plane goes down in a hockey-obsessed area of northern Russia, Grimm walks away from a multi-year deal with the Pythons and into a nest of vipers (and the KHL) in search of both survivors and the truth.
MORE LOVE FOR SPORTS MOVIES:
The two-sports-movie star you’ve never heard of • Breaking down the dubious science of Rookie of the Year • Patrick Patterson picks his favourite sports flick • The year baseball movies stood in for MLB
TITLE: Comeback Player of the Year
TAGLINE: A second chance at life (on his fastball)
SYNOPSIS: Henry Rowengartner (Thomas Ian Nicholas, reprising his role from Rookie of the Year) is 35. He’s down on his luck, twice divorced, and spends a lot of time in his basement watching grainy baseball footage on VHS. He never made it in the bigs—after that brief stint when he was 12, of course—and no one on the streets of Chicago, least of all his well-meaning mother (Susan Sarandon), seems likely to ever let him forget it. But when he breaks his wrist in a workplace accident, Rowengartner discovers his 100-mph fastball is back. But for how long?
This story initially appeared in the August 2016 issue of Sportsnet magazine.