Jim Lang

Jim Lang pines for the day Team Canada returns to the World Cup.

Last week I discovered once again that there is a job out there far tougher than fighting in the UFC. It's called being an elementary school teacher.

I was one of the parent volunteers for my oldest daughter's Grade 3 field trip. By the time I stepped off the bus when we returned to the school, I was ready for a Costco-sized bottle of Advil! I honestly don't know how teachers do it every day, but I do know this: all teachers deserve a big raise.

And now, onto this week’s questions...

From: Jorge in Mexico

Comments:

Hey Jim, great column. With the South Africa 2010 qualifiers almost over, how long do you think it will take Canada to get into to a World Cup? Greetings from Mexico!

Answer:

Hola Jorge, Como Estas?

The Canadian Soccer Association must be stopped at all costs. They have insulted the intelligence of loyal Canadian soccer fans long enough. We are tired of getting sub-standard, second-rate coaches shoved down our collective throats and having someone try to tell us that the Canadian men's team is World Cup bound.

Who are they kidding?

Surely not any self respecting soccer fan that I know. Until the Canadian Soccer Association hires a world-class coach, nothing will ever change. I don't care what country the coach comes from, I don't care what language they speak, I only care if the man can coach and he has a proven track record. It just kills me to watch something as magnificent as the World Cup, and Canada not be part of it. Canada hasn't been in the World Cup since 1986. It is unacceptable that a country with money and a love of soccer such as Canada has been shut out of the World Cup for that long. If the CSA comes to their senses and spends the money to hire a world-class coach, you will find all of our top soccer talent might actually want to play for our national team.

What a concept.

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From: Day-V n Montreal

Comments:

Hey Jimbo, I have a question for you. When an NHL player gets caught with an illegal stick, what happens to his sticks (which one would assume are all illegal)? Does he use another player's stick?

Thanks for the response; Forza Azzuri

Answer:

Hi Day-V, I love the Forza Azzuri reference. I am already geeked up for the 2010 World Cup in South Africa. The World Cup of soccer is easily one of my all-time favourite sporting events.

When it comes to the sticks, I often wondered that myself. So to get the true answer, I asked Sportsnet's very own John Shannon. As a man who played a major role in the television production of 23 Stanley Cup Finals, Mister Shannon knows his stuff. All sticks that are deemed to be illegal by the on-ice officials are sent to Colin Campbell and Mike Murphy at the NHL's hockey operations office in Toronto.

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From: Andrew

Comments:

Hi Jim, I love the honesty and humour of your articles - keep up the great work! Now on to my question.

Don Taylor used to have a weekly segment on CFOX, a Vancouver radio station, called "Stump, the Sports Guy" where people would call in and name a player and Don had to name their jersey number. I'm wondering how Don stacks up to the rest of the Sportsnet team and what other special talents some of your colleagues have?

Answer:

Hi Andrew, thanks for the kind words. I agree, Don Taylor is an amazing talent. When it comes to players and the numbers they wore, there isn't anyone else I can think of that is even in Don Taylor's league. Don also is a passionate lacrosse fan.

Here's a run down of the rest of the Sportsnet posse and their special talents.

Evanka Osmak - Building bridges and designing roads. Evanka graduated with a degree in Structural Engineering from Queen's University. She's also a fitness freak, a dynamite tennis player and a solid golfer. Just don't ask her to dance.

Brad Fay - Music trivia and basketball. Brad was a mean three-point shooter when he was a star basketball player at Mount Royal College in Calgary. Brad is also the undisputed Bruce Springsteen trivia master. In fact, Brad has seen Bruce in concert over 50 times.

Martine Gaillard -One of the nicest human beings I have ever met in all my years in the business, Martine is also an amazing cook. Her meatballs are to die for.

Sean McCormick - Not only is the Dude the king of X-Box, he also takes his music very, very seriously. Name the band and Sean has seen them live. He's seen bands everywhere from Vancouver to Ireland and all points in between.

Daren Millard - Playing goal. I have played a number of games with and against Daren and believe me, he is one tough goalie to score on.

Dan Murphy - Golf. If they ever held a Canadian sports television golf tournament, my money would be on Sportsnet's Vancouver Canucks reporter. Murphy is a shark on the course.

Yours Truly - Military history. I am not making this up. Outside of sports, my life-long passion is the study of military history, mainly focusing on The Second World War. You name the Second World War battle, and I can tell you something about it. Right near the top of my personal bucket list is a visit to Juno Beach, the place that the Canadian army made famous during the invasion of Normandy.

Jason Portuondo - Horses. When it comes to thoroughbred horses and the science of placing a bet on the ponies, Porty is your man.

Mike Toth - Tother is a man of many talents. If Toth was ever on Jeopardy and the topics included "Elvis Presley," "Canadian Junior Hockey," and "Stampede Wrestling,"; he would clean up. As a man who attends literally dozens of games every year, Toth knows more about junior hockey than any other on-air talent in Canadian sports television.

John Garrett - The World Hockey Association and eating without utensils. After playing with the Minnesota Fighting Saints, the Birmingham Bulls and the New England Whalers, "Cheech" has an endless string of stories from his days in the WHA. John also hates forks and knives and almost always orders food he can eat with his hands.

------------------------ After all these years, Bob Cole still has his moments where he reminds all of us why we loved him as “The Voice” on HINC for all those years.

Saturday night, Cole was at his finest as he called Mike Cammalleri’s overtime winner against the New York Rangers at the Bell Centre. Canadian hockey fans are really going to miss him when he finally retires for good.