Soccer in Europe took a dive itself by not banning one of its offenders and fantasy soccer is in fact, the opposite.
With Matchday 1 in the books, it is time to take yet another light-hearted look at soccer's third(?) biggest tournament.
Europe's governing body had the opportunity to establish itself as the alpha in an international pack of toothless lions by suspending Arsenal's Crozilian Eduardo da Silva for the previously agreed upon two matches. But it didn't, and as fate would have it in the group stage match where Eduardo was supposed to be a spectator he scored the decisive goal in helping his club avoid an embarrassing loss to a Belgium soccer minnow.
The irony in the Matchday 1 decision was that a bit of simulation gave Standard Liege the 2-0 lead it could not hold.
Farce, mockery, shame -- choose whichever adjective you like in this case, each apply just as well. The problem with UEFA's indecision is that any faith placed in its equally toothless decision to eject clubs who overspend from the lucrative Champions League tournament by 2012 is, well, simulation.
Group (*yawn*) stage
The consensus is that the group-stage fixtures are a colossal waste of time due to lopsided ties and the to-be-expected top teams not showing its hand too early when facing equal opposition.
I disagree.
The possibility of upset, albeit miniscule, is the essence of sports. Watching Arsenal struggle at Standard Liege or Manchester United underestimate Besiktas JK in one of soccer's fiercest cauldrons will 10 times out of 10 trump watching the uber-hyped Inter Milan shadow box Barcelona in Group F play.
Upsets disappear quickly in big tournaments and soon you're stuck wondering if Chelsea will beat Barcelona, and vice versa.
Where is the fantasy?
In order to further educate myself on the intricacies of APOEL FC and FC Unirea Urziceni I accepted the challenge to field a fantasy starting 11. I am pleased to report that after Matchday 1, I forgot to set my lineup and finished with paltry 35 points (one-fifths of which came from my goalkeeper). Seriously, I have played and performed quite well in various fantasy pools in the past, but soccer is, to steal a phrase and dodge the censors, an inglorious basterd.
But the challenge of predicting whether or not Ryan Giggs will play in the wake of an EPL match or if Samuel Eto'o is worth splashing 9.5 points is far more frustrating than picking MLB slugger Ryan Howard first overall and never making a decision over his playing time.
Nevermind trying to figure out which of Vladimer Dvalishvili, Eial Strahman or Shlomi Arbeitman will shoulder the scoring load at Maccabi Haifa FC.
Anyhow, feel free to berate my selections and I'll be back for more abuse ahead of Matchday 2.
