It’s been a long road back for Canadian defender Lauren Sesselmann.
Sesselmann, 31, last month was named to coach John Herdman’s 23-player roster for this summer’s FIFA Women’s World Cup—this after she tore the anterior cruciate ligament in her knee just prior to the 2014 Cyprus Cup tournament last March.
She underwent surgery and a lengthy rehab process before recently returning to action, appearing in friendlies against France in April and last week versus England in Hamilton.
Sesselmann made her debut for Canada in 2011, and started all six games for her country at the 2012 Olympics when the Reds won the bronze medal. She has 42 caps for Canada, and will likely add to that total on Saturday when the Reds open their World Cup campaign against China in Edmonton.
Sportsnet chatted one-on-one with Sesselmann about her road to recovery.
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What did it feel like to be recalled by Jophn Herdman after being sidelined for so long?
It felt amazing. Obviously, I’ve been working hard towards this goal of getting back on the team and being a part of the World Cup—that’s been my goal and what I’ve been working for this past year. It feels awesome—all the hard work and effort you put in, you don’t know how it’s all going to turn out, so to be back with the team and surrounded by the players, the coaches and the support staff, it’s great.
What has the past year been like for you? How would you describe the personal journey you’ve taken?
It’s been up and down. Everybody goes through different things with injuries. Some people come back faster, some people heal faster, and then some people take a bit more time. Everybody’s body is different. I knew I had to be patient.
Luckily, the injury happened when it did because it allowed me to have a full year of recovery. Mentally, it’s a huge challenge. It’s not fun because you’re by yourself a lot and you have to find a new inner self, and that’s what I did. My mindset was always (to play at the World Cup) and having that mindset day in and day out really helped me along. It was so hard—I can’t lie about that.
Was there anyone who was especially encouraging or supportive?
Honestly, it was a bunch of different people. First, my family was just tremendous. I went back home (to Wisconsin) to have my surgery, so they took care of me. They had to put up with me for a few months, and that was hard on them. But they knew what my dream was and how passionate I am, so they were 100 percent behind me.
As for teammates, so many kept in touch with me. Desiree Scott was wonderful, and always checking in with me. Karina LeBlanc and Rhian Wilkinson, too. Everybody reached out and made me feel like I was still a part of this team. That was key because you can’t help but feel disconnected when you’re physically not with the team.
How isolated did you feel? How bad was the disconnect?
It was hard. You’re off on your own doing rehab 24/7 while your teammates are training and getting ready for the World Cup—that stung because it was stuff I wanted to be a part of. But I had to get to that point where I could physically return. The team always kept me in the loop and I talked to John Herdman and I watched game film, so that helped to minimize the disconnect.
Was there ever a moment during your recovery when you questioned yourself? When you said “Why I am doing this” or “this is too hard?”
Sure. I can’t sugar coat that. I had doubts but that’s where the big mental part of the game needs to come through. You read stuff like athletes who have this kind of injury never really return to their old form, but you have to push all of that away and show them you can do it. I had doubts in the back of my mind, but it’s a good type of pressure because it makes you a stronger player and person—you need to embrace that doubt and pressure, and turn it into a positive.
Do you still worry about re-injuring the knee?
Anytime you go through a major injury, if you don’t think about that a little bit then you’re not human. That just comes with the territory. There’s always going to be that little fear at the back of your mind, but in this sport, you can’t let that hold you back. You have to just go for it, because if you just go half-heartedly into it, that’s when you can get injured again. I’ve been working hard on my mental game the past year, and dealing with that fear.