Jennifer Robles ventured where very few women have dared and interned with sportsnet.ca for a spell.
In keeping with the mantra of educating while entertaining, her first assignment was to provide a window in to the mind of a female sports fan.
So sit back and learn.
— sportsnet.ca
BY JENNIFER ROBLES
sportsnet.ca
Why sit and watch sports all night when you can go out and play?
Why spend Sunday afternoon on the couch instead of at the mall?
Why go to a bar to watch the game Saturday night when you can go to a club and get some real action?
Not every woman loves sitting on the couch beside their male companion, whiling away the hours in front of ‘the game’. But if these women really knew what they were missing, they’d be booking Sunday off work and PVRing MMA Connected on Monday night just to see the short shorts in action.
So as a guide to those misguided few, here are 10 reasons to help you enjoy sports – with or without the guys.
Guilt-free, over-indulging time with the guys
Go ahead; stuff yourself silly … they won’t judge. In fact, the guys will probably be excited to see consume both nachos and wings. Drinking beer has also never been so enjoyable. If you hang out often enough and have some notable stats handy, pretty soon you’ll be cleared of any drink tabs and become a household name. It’s also a really nice change to spend time with the boys; leaving the Gossip Girl drama in lieu of the T.O and Ochocinco drama.
Reality TV at it’s best
Enough with The Hills and America’s Next Top Model. Every night there’s more compelling stuff going on at the exact same time. No disrespect to how serious and unscripted reality television is, but it’s definitely a lot of work having to tell your best friend that you can’t live together anymore because of a guy while the cameras are rolling in your L.A penthouse while you casually sip a grande non-fat no-foam latte.
The real emotion is raw and uncut on the bench, court, ice and on the turf. If you can’t completely cut out the Real Housewives of New Jersey or the Bachelorette, then at least flip back and forth between commercials.
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MMA stands for Mmm, Mmm, Ahhh!
At first glance, mixed martial arts seems gory, barbaric and unsportsmanlike. Obviously it’s not easy to watch one man completely demolish the left side of another man’s face in less than two minutes, or see two women grapple in a blood-stained cage, but these athletes fight with respect and are well-trained. It’s not just two grown men trying to kill each other, it’s two grown men using techniques they’ve spent years trying to perfect to strategically take out the competitor. Give it a shot next time all your male buddies want to go to the bar and check out the fight. You’ll be thoroughly entertained by the atmosphere (as well as the skimpy shorts some fighters [ahem, GSP] don).
Super slow motion means super great shots
A long time ago, before the age of instant replay, quantity used to beget quality. Everyone enjoys high-octane offence — with the exception of no-hitters in baseball and soccer fans in general — but nowadays, viewers have an opportunity to truly witness exceptional athleticism at its best. The replays allow you to get a great look at the athletes’ skill, style, and of course, the way their perfectly sculpted bodies react to a bone crushing play while their super tight uniforms keeps everything in place.
Knowledge is power
We already know the value of knowledge via relationships with guys, so take it one step further with sports. It can be confusing for many women to watch sports because they have no idea what’s going on. In football there’s a whistle every ten seconds, while in hockey, the puck seems always to be offside. The last minute of a basketball game can last 20 minutes while soccer players appear to just kick the ball back and forth to each other. The rules of the sport is what makes the sport exciting; not knowing the rules takes away from the fun. Plus, knowing the rules makes it easy to completely disagree with the calls and make a mockery of the officiating by screaming at the top of your lungs.
Soccer is sexy
There’s a rule in soccer that if you score a goal and take your shirt off, you get a yellow card for excessive celebration. That is one of the worst rules in sport. Let them undress! The average midfielder runs over 10 km in a 90 minute game, so his stamina and fitness levels are through the roof. That’s not too bad to stare at come the final whistle, when they all take their shirts off and celebrate by hugging each other in a sweaty man-pile.
The fantasy of fantasy sports
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| Sadly, decency laws ensure that some traditions remain ‘men only’. |
What’s the deal with guys and fantasy leagues? It seems like they spend more time researching which running back to start than they do what to get you for Valentine’s Day. But don’t women love fantasy? This is a great way to combine the two. Often there’s money involved, along with funny team names and trash talk, but it’s a chance to manage athletes that you ‘own’. If they don’t impress, trade ’em, or waive them and hope they don’t get their revenge on you later. Just like dating.
Grab the girls and go to a game
Not only is the atmosphere of live games electrifying and full of fan entertainment, but baseball stadiums and hockey arenas are hidden gems for scoping out packs of dudes. Just like the mall is a bounty of highly stimulated women ready to swipe the plastic, the smell of hot dogs and draft beer are simple tactics that make men come running. If that’s not easy enough, dress down — a sporting event is one of the few venues where guys are utterly attracted to women wearing sweat pants and baseball caps.
Bragging rights
When a man and a woman disagree about almost anything, it’s a given the woman will often walk away the victor. Why not take that strength and apply it to a department where the man often feels invincible? By challenging his beliefs while at the same time backing up your debate, you have once again shifted the balance of power in your favour. Accurately predicting outcomes while having less sports knowledge than your man, will no doubt make him feel emasculated, making daily disagreements easier to deal with and possibly even completely avoidable.
In it to win it
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If you had the choice, you would … | Related story
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The same way the dreamy vampire Edward Cullen from the wildly successful Twilight franchise looks passionately into the eyes of his only love Bella (Male editor’s note: In English, please), athletes do the same to us. Every night they go out there, feverishly working to put protect us from sadness before we go to bed. They train, they travel, they sweat blood and tears in an attempt to win our hearts.
For athletes, there is no greater goal than winning it all. So next time you watch a game, look at their faces, and the way they look at the scoreboard. Look into their eyes as they see their season slipping away. Look at their lips when they know they can taste victory. Just look at them, because their expression says it all, and they’re not going to go down without a fight.