Week one of the NHL season is in the books.
You may have read some power rankings discussing the league’s best teams, you also might rely on insiders like Elliotte Friedman, but what does he have that I don’t besides facts, sources and journalistic integrity?!
Here’s a little something on each team and their opening week in the NHL.
How many jersey changes do they have to go through before they just start skating around in Duck costumes?
You’re welcome, Yotes fans.
ME: “Name 10 Arizona Coyotes players. You can’t!” Ten different Coyotes have at least one point through two games.
— Steve Dangle Glynn (@Steve_Dangle) October 12, 2015
It’s two games in and there are already officiating conspiracies; they became the first ever losers of a coach’s challenge, and everybody’s getting traded.
can never label someone as “struggling” too early into a season. i applaud the Bs. https://t.co/P2iy2yCFX7
— incarcerated bobby (@bobbycappucino) October 11, 2015
The Buffalo Sabres got scored on 30 seconds into the season and their newly-acquired starting goaltender is now out for 6-10 weeks. Jack Eichel has a goal. Congrats on already scratching off three items on your 2015-16 Buffalo Sabres bingo cards.
Johnny Gaudreau is still Johnny Hockey for all those who were sweating over a sophomore slump. Three assists and a game-winning goal through just two games, so far. See? I talked about the Flames without mentioning their sticky situation in net. Wait…
Only one Hurricane has more than one point. His name is Justin Faulk. You know who also has more than one point? Alex Semin. Life’s not fair.
Guess who might win the Art Ross Trophy. That’s right, you guessed it: Artemi Panarin.
Patrick Roy after Game 1:
Live look in on Patrick Roy… pic.twitter.com/qblHb7CNs9
— K e r i (@kerEyew00d) October 9, 2015
Patrick Roy after Game 2:
— Jen (@NHLhistorygirl) October 5, 2015
COLUMBUS BLUE JACKETS
About 16 minutes into the third period of their first game: “Things are going to be different this year!”
Four minutes later: (drops Sergei Bobrovsky from fantasy pool)
The good news is that Antti Niemi was one of the league’s leading scorers after the Stars’ first game. The bad news is that eight members of the Avalanche tied or passed him after the Stars’ second game.
DETROIT RED WINGS
In their 4-0 win over the Toronto Maple Leafs, the Red Wings showed everyone that they can survive without Mike Babcock and answered the question, “Hey whatever happened to Mike Commodore?” that no one was asking.
Problem: Connor McDavid doesn’t have a point so far.
Bigger problem: Ryan Nugent-Hopkins is the only Oiler with a point so far.
At least they have the Blue Jays!
Gerard Gallant: “Let’s have a good start to the season, guys! Oh, and just one more thing…”
Jaromir Jagr: “What’s that, coach?”
Gallant: “The Flyers said if you bring the mullet back you’ll look stupid.”
I see the “Dustin Brown gets away with murder” train hasn’t taken long to leave the station this season.
Devan Dubnyk credits his 2-0-0 start to the new, custom-made, money-stuffed pads he had made this past summer.
Max Pacioretty became the first player in Montreal Canadiens history to score two goals in his first game as captain. He’s also already in midseason form.
Nashville’s strategy this season seems pretty clear: Blind everybody.
NEW JERSEY DEVILS
John Hynes: “Hey Keith, you know we were just kidding about Cory Schneider playing all 82 games, right?”
Keith Kinkaid: “Haha yeah, I know.”
Hynes: “OK good. You get Ovechkin and the Capitals tonight.”
NEW YORK ISLANDERS
Back-to-back games against the Blackhawks to start your season? I’m pretty sure the NHL’s schedule-maker is a Rangers fan.
NEW YORK RANGERS
Guys this good-looking shouldn’t be allowed to make saves like this. It’s not fair.
Curtis Lazar took 26 games to score his first goal last season. He scored in his first game this season. More importantly he hasn’t eaten anything off the ice yet. He’s only 20 but Lazar is maturing in leaps and bounds.
Did you know that if you Google “Why are the Flyers bad” it just takes you to a page about their salary cap info? Also wow – they only have $670 in cap space?!?
The Penguins may be 0-2-0 to start the season, but their goals will come. Kessel’s first of the season made me laugh.
SAN JOSE SHARKS
Former captain Patrick Marleau picked up a pair of goals in the Sharks’ 2-0 win over the Ducks. Future captain Logan Couture picked up an assist on the first goal while current captain Joe Pavelski and former captain Joe Thornton went pointless. Captain.
ST. LOUIS BLUES
Jake Allen and the St. Louis Blues lost to Devan Dubnyk and the Minnesota Wild. It’s never too early to play like you’re in playoff form in this league.
TAMPA BAY LIGHTNING
They won the NHL’s first ever regular season 3-on-3 overtime and they hated it.
TORONTO MAPLE LEAFS
Personally, I’d go with Stroman in Game 5.
This may go down as the 2015-16 Canucks season in just one tweet.
They have this Russian guy who scores sometimes.
I think Alexander Burmistrov prefers playing on this Winnipeg Jets team instead of the “We’re basically still the Atlanta Thrashers” Winnipeg Jets team.