Datsyukian Dreams: BizNasty, Pavel ink deal

Even sidelined with injury, Pavel Datsyuk earns recognition -- and money -- for his "dirty hands."

Datsyukian Dreams collects the frequent and fabulous feats of the superhuman who wears No. 13 for the Detroit Red Wings. Our favourite plays from your favourite player’s favourite player….

So what if he’s sidelined with the disingenuous diagnosis of “concussion-like symptoms”? Pavel Datsyuk (day to day) is still garnering recognition (and a cheque) for his disgusting mitts.

On Dec. 3, Datsyuk inked a long-term sponsorship with Sauce Hockey, Paul “BizNasty” Bissonnette’s clothing company, to help market “hand sanitizer for hockey players with dirty hands.”


“This is huge for Sauce Hockey,” Bissonnette said via press release. “Having one of the best players in the world, who is internationally renowned for his silky hands and world-class play, involved with the company is exciting. But, enough about me. It’s cool having Pavel on board with the Sauce Team. He’s a good player too.”

Surely, Biz has seen this before:

“I am pleased to collaborate with such a creative company as Sauce Hockey,” said Datsyuk, who won’t just be unveiling a signature clothing line this month but something more specific. “I look forward to being involved in the development of my new line of apparel products and hand sanitizer for hockey players with dirty hands.”

Feeling negative about hockey? Bogged down by the never-ending fighting debate? Could give two craps about the big board of governors meetings next week?

Lose yourself is some brand-new vintage Datsyuk.

Watch above as the Detroit Red Wings star corkscrews Dallas Stars forward Shawn Horcoff into the ground (great commentary) before beating the stellar Kari Lehtonen short side.

It’s a third-period go-ahead goal for the Wings, and Datsyuk celebrates by joyfully pointing at the frenzied Joe Louis crowd. True, Detroit would end up losing 4-3 in overtime on Nov. 7, but the home fans got themselves a treat.


(gifs via Sporting News)

In the Detroit Red Wings’ Oct. 14 revenge victory over their new divisional foe, fellow Original Sixers the Boston Bruins, Pavel Datsyuk out-Selkes Patrice Bergeron.

Watch (above) as a backchecking Datsyuk steals the puck from the Bruins forward, spins around the other way, undresses Zdeno Chara something silly, then feeds buddy Henrik Zetterberg with a perfect backhand pass.

“Pavel Datsyuk could thread a needle in the dark!” rejoices the Detroit announcer.

The play deserves two assists, but Datsyuk is only given one. He now has six points in six games.

Like Shere Khan lurking in the jungle just waiting for his opportunity to attack an innocent mancub, Pavel Datsyuk is patient but deadly when he pounces.

On Oct. 2, as the Detroit Red Wings made their Eastern Conference debut, Datsyuk scoops up a giveaway in the Buffalo Sabres’ zone, zips between the circles and backhands a perfectly placed puck high-glove.

Ryan Miller appears blind to the attack, but the Oilers’ Sam Gagner — presumably popping Tylenol 3s and resting his jaw on the sofa — catches the brilliance:

“We made a second mistake up the wall and we turned it over to a real good player,” Sabres coach Ron Rolston told reporters after the game.

Datsyuk’s first period goal would hold up to be the game-winner as Detroit is perfect thus far in the East.

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