The best part of the Bakersfield Condors, a real-life ECHL team based in California, offering Canada’s dreamiest pop recording star, Justin Bieber, a real-life hockey contract is not that they list him as “RW Justin Bieber” in the press release.
It’s not that they put a question mark after his height (5’7?) or that the club attaches a link to his stat line (a tally of Facebook “likes” and records sold and hearts throbbed).
It’s the earnestness of the quotes, as if The Biebs would actually take the Condors up on their amateur tryout contract for the upcoming 2012-13 season. As if this isn’t the most obvious stunt ploy since the 1951 St. Louis Browns dressed 3’7” (no question mark!) dwarf Edward Gaedel in attempt to draw a walk during a Major League Baseball double-header.
“Very rarely do you see this combination of skill and toughness,” Condors coach and director of hockey operations Matt O’Dette writes of the “Baby” singer. “We share a common Canadian heritage since we both hail from Ontario. I’ve scouted some video of him online skating with my hometown team, the Toronto Maple Leafs, and I think he could provide some elusive speed up front for us. Plus, he’s a right-handed shot which we’ve been looking to add. I think if we paired him on a line with (Robby) Dee and (Peter) Boyd we’d be tough to beat.”
“In attendance,” O’Dette forgets to add. “We’d be tough to beat in attendance and small girls-cut jersey sales.”
The press release goes on to point out that the 18-year-old singer has never appeared in a professional hockey game, but that “according to scouts, he possesses soft hands, a good skating stride, and a devastating wrist shot capable of beating NHL caliber goaltenders. He appears to be strong in shootouts as well.”
The Condors have done the classy thing by reserving Bieber’s favourite jersey number, 6, for his pending tryout. This, of course, shows tremendous respect for the game.
Watch a clip of the Biebs’ session with the Leafs last December: