A couple of years ago, I wrote a fun blog entitled “10 Trades I’d Like To See From A Comedic Standpoint.” There weren’t any serious trade proposals in the blog; just some trades that had some humour attached to them.
And since we appear to be in full-fledged trade mode already, I figured it was time to unveil the 2011 edition of 10 Funny Trades That I Wish Would Happen. Enjoy and please pass along any other humorous trades you’d like to see happen before the deadline.
No. 1
The trade: Philadelphia trades Matt Carle to Los Angeles for Trevor Lewis.
The punchline: A Carle-Lewis trade? The league better make sure both players are tested for performance-enhancing drugs. And as an added bonus, I know the perfect guy who can sing the anthem when the Flyers and Kings meet for the first time after this trade.
No. 2
The trade: NY Islanders send Matt Moulson to Detroit for Drew Miller.
The punchline: Even though the Americans have come a long way with their beer, I would still never trade a Moulson for a Miller.
No. 3
The trade: Nashville sends Colin Wilson to Ottawa in exchange for Chris Phillips.
The punchline: As a red-blooded male, this is the only time it’s acceptable to utter the words “Wilson-Phillips.”
No. 4
The trade: Carolina sends Jeff Skinner and Jamie McBain to Pittsburgh for Ben Lovejoy.
The punchline: Skinner … McBain … Lovejoy. If you don’t get the obscure Simpsons references in this trade, you can’t possibly be a funny person.
No. 5
The trade: Ottawa sends Brian Lee to Los Angeles for Alec Martinez.
The punchline: Just hang around baseball fans all day and ask them if they heard about the Lee-for-Martinez trade.
No. 6
The trade: Toronto sends Joey Crabb to the New York Islanders for Robbie Schremp.
The punchline: Does anyone else suddenly have the craving for Red Lobster?
No. 7
The trade: Atlanta sends Jim Slater to Ottawa for Jesse Winchester.
The punchline: Now that Kelly is out of the picture in Ottawa, the Slater-for-Jesse deal is very intriguing for Saved By The Bell fans.
No. 8
The trade: New Jersey sends Pierre-Luc Letourneau Leblond to Minnesota for Andrew Brunette.
The punchline: Would the bald GM of the New Jersey Devils find any humour in trading a Leblond for a Brunette? As I’ve mentioned before, I’m fairly certain Lou Lamoriello bases most of his hockey decisions on what he thinks people will find funny.
No. 9
The trade: Montreal sends Hal Gill and Brian Gionta to Buffalo in exchange for Tyler Myers and Nathan Gerbe.
The punchline: It’s very rare to pull off a four-player deal in which the average height and weight for both teams doesn’t change at all.
No. 10
The trade: Toronto sends a fourth-round pick to St. Louis in exchange for Tyson Strachan.
The punchline: I just want to see Brian Burke trade for a guy named Strachan.