1 |
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“The only thing better than a Snow Day is a not-cancelled Caps game!”
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2 |
2 |
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“Daddy says when I grow up, I’ll need to make tough decisions like Stan Bowman”
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1 |
3 |
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“Anze! Dad says once I get off my butt and start raking $10 million a year, I can have all the friggin’ puppies I want”
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3 |
4 |
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“Consider the pleasant weather and tax breaks!”
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4 |
5 |
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“If Jagr scores, Dad will give him the keys so he can work out on the elliptical in our basement that Mom never uses”
|
13 |
6 |
 |
“It’s my birthday! Gimme a piggyback, Zdeno!”
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5 |
7 |
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“I don’t like condiments. Give me plain ol’ Klingbergers!”
|
11 |
8 |
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“I lost my innocence when I found out Brent Burns wasn’t Santa Claus”
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8 |
9 |
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“My allowance came up short for Super Bowl tickets”
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10 |
10 |
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“Which one is Jeff Blashill?”
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12 |
11 |
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“It’s my birthday, AV! If you healthy-scratch Dan Boyle, Mom buys me a turtle!”
|
7 |
12 |
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“My hip uncle says his view is partially obstructed!”
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6 |
13 |
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“Dad says if Carl Hagelin scores on my b-day, he’ll buy me the Penguins. Not the flightless bird. The entire team.”
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15 |
14 |
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“Hey Hitch! How ’bout you devise a defence system to protect me from Spencer, the schoolyard bully?”
|
9 |
15 |
 |
“Remember when the Jets had no interest in re-signing Lee Stempniak and then he went to Jersey and was second in team scoring and had a better chance of making the playoffs?”
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17 |
16 |
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“Pampers
Era
Done,
Suckas!”
|
19 |
17 |
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“Dad says quit Staal-ing and make a trade already!
(Dad is also one of those dads who thinks puns are the highest form of comedy)”
|
21 |
18 |
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“Mom says not to be afraid. He’s a friendly Gostisbehere”
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18 |
19 |
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“But you said every team gets an all-star”
|
14 |
20 |
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“Anyone else think the All-Star Weekend promo song sounds a lot like ‘Are You Ready for Some Football?’ “
|
24 |
21 |
 |
“Bobby, now Dad says you’d be doing us a solid if you come dogsit when we go to Florida for two weeks in March”
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20 |
22 |
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“Slumping is worse than teething”*
(*this one works best for six-month-old fans)
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16 |
23 |
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“Dad says if Chris Higgins scores tonight, it’ll be on a beer-league goalie”
|
26 |
24 |
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“Dad says if the Jets re-sign Byfuglien, Ladd can sleep on the top bunk if he needs to”
|
22 |
25 |
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“No fair! That dude in the KHL stole your flaming hockey stick idea, Johnny”
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23 |
26 |
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“Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, Jack jumped over Max in rookie scoring — sick!”
|
25 |
27 |
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“This is the best the Oilers have played in my entire life!”
|
29 |
28 |
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“Dad says defensive structure and dressing room culture are more important than wins”
|
27 |
29 |
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“Dad says just because we beat Montreal doesn’t mean we’re a good hockey team”
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30 |
30 |
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“Carey Price > Fisher-Price”
|
28 |