NHL Power Rankings: Child-Held Sign Ideas Edition

The day after Ottawa’s Bobby Ryan got one; Cam Atkinson scored his own “puppy goal” to send one Columbus Blue Jackets fan home very happy.

First Bobby Ryan, then Cam Atkinson, and now Sidney Crosby is down for the cause.

Take your kid to an NHL game, get him or her to request a goal from a favourite player, and you could be on the hook for a puppy.

Such is the power of cute children with signage.

With puppy goals all the rage, for this week’s rankings we dream up a sign suitable to be held up by a young fan for each of the NHL’s 30 teams.

It’s the NHL Power Rankings: Child-Held Sign Ideas Edition. Rated G.

Rank Team Previous
1

“The only thing better than a Snow Day is a not-cancelled Caps game!”

2
2

“Daddy says when I grow up, I’ll need to make tough decisions like Stan Bowman”

1
3

“Anze! Dad says once I get off my butt and start raking $10 million a year, I can have all the friggin’ puppies I want”

3
4

“Consider the pleasant weather and tax breaks!”

4
5

“If Jagr scores, Dad will give him the keys so he can work out on the elliptical in our basement that Mom never uses”

13
6

“It’s my birthday! Gimme a piggyback, Zdeno!”

5
7

“I don’t like condiments. Give me plain ol’ Klingbergers!”

11
8

“I lost my innocence when I found out Brent Burns wasn’t Santa Claus”

8
9

“My allowance came up short for Super Bowl tickets”

10
10

“Which one is Jeff Blashill?”

12
11

“It’s my birthday, AV! If you healthy-scratch Dan Boyle, Mom buys me a turtle!”

7
12

“My hip uncle says his view is partially obstructed!”

6
13

“Dad says if Carl Hagelin scores on my b-day, he’ll buy me the Penguins. Not the flightless bird. The entire team.”

15
14

“Hey Hitch! How ’bout you devise a defence system to protect me from Spencer, the schoolyard bully?”

9
15

“Remember when the Jets had no interest in re-signing Lee Stempniak and then he went to Jersey and was second in team scoring and had a better chance of making the playoffs?”

17
16

“Pampers
Era
Done,
Suckas!”

19
17

“Dad says quit Staal-ing and make a trade already!
(Dad is also one of those dads who thinks puns are the highest form of comedy)”

21
18

“Mom says not to be afraid. He’s a friendly Gostisbehere”

18
19

“But you said every team gets an all-star”

14
20

“Anyone else think the All-Star Weekend promo song sounds a lot like ‘Are You Ready for Some Football?’ “

24
21

“Bobby, now Dad says you’d be doing us a solid if you come dogsit when we go to Florida for two weeks in March”

20
22

“Slumping is worse than teething”*

(*this one works best for six-month-old fans)

16
23

“Dad says if Chris Higgins scores tonight, it’ll be on a beer-league goalie”

26
24

“Dad says if the Jets re-sign Byfuglien, Ladd can sleep on the top bunk if he needs to”

22
25

“No fair! That dude in the KHL stole your flaming hockey stick idea, Johnny”

23
26

“Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, Jack jumped over Max in rookie scoring — sick!”

25
27

“This is the best the Oilers have played in my entire life!”

29
28

“Dad says defensive structure and dressing room culture are more important than wins”

27
29

“Dad says just because we beat Montreal doesn’t mean we’re a good hockey team”

30
30

“Carey Price > Fisher-Price”

28

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