When Sheldon Keefe took over the Toronto Maple Leafs dressing room, he had the club’s previous slogan — IT’S A PRIVILEGE, NOT A RIGHT — removed from the wall.
“I’ve never been big on slogans, frankly,” Keefe explained. “I have a few ideas bouncing around, and I don’t know whether we’ll get to it this season or not. It’s not really on the top of my list right now.”
To the contrary, slogans are at the top, the middle and the bottom of our list this week as we unveil our NHL Power Rankings: New Team Slogans Edition.
We racked up a ton of air miles last night, as we commissioned a group of interns to visit all 31 NHL dressing rooms and report back with the mottos and memos plastered inside those hallowed walls. Teamwork makes the dream work.
As usual, the clubs are listed according to their current strength, while the write-ups are simply the latest slogan we found hanging in their respective rooms.
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PASS IT TO PASTA.
NEVER LOSE SIGHT OF OUR END GOAL: RAMPANT PUBLIC DRUNKENNESS, PREFERABLY IN COMMEMORATIVE FOUNTAINS.
DEFENCE WINS CHAMPIONSHIPS… FINGERS CROSSED.
THE BEST CURE FOR STANLEY CUP HANGOVERS IS MORE STANLEY CUPS.
WHY LEAN ON THE BEST PLAYER IN HOCKEY WHEN YOU CAN LEAN ON THE TWO BEST PLAYERS IN HOCKEY.
6. 
Dallas Stars
OK, NO MORE SANDBAGGING — IT’S GO TIME!
7. 
Carolina Hurricanes
STORM SURGE SUGGESTION BOX IS LOCATED AT THE BACK.
DUDE, WHERE’S MAKAR?
OVER THERE, SPEEDING AWAY WITH THE CALDER LIKE HE STOLE IT.
9. 
Pittsburgh Penguins
NO LETANG, NO CROSBY, NO WORRIES.
NO STATE TAX.
TRYING TO WIN HOCKEY GAMES CAN LEAD TO WINNING HOCKEY GAMES.
12. 
Arizona Coyotes
STILL TOTALLY A PART OF THE NATIONAL HOCKEY LEAGUE.
13. 
Florida Panthers
QUENNEVILLE?! MORE LIKE WINVILLE, AM I RIGHT?
14. 
Winnipeg Jets
MAKING DO WITH WHATEVER BLUE-LINERS WE GOT LEFT.
IF WE’RE BEING COMPLETELY HONEST, WE ARE EQUALLY AS FRIGHTENED BY OUR MASCOT AS YOU ARE.
JUST WAIT TILL OUR SAVE PERCENTAGE GETS ABOVE .884!
AS LONG AS WE DRAW, LIKE, SIX OR SEVEN POWER PLAYS A GAME, WE’LL BE FINE.
18. 
San Jose Sharks
CHILL, DUDE, WE ALWAYS MAKE THE PLAYOFFS.
19. 
New York Rangers
PLEASE DO NOT TOUCH HENRIK LUNDQVIST’S HAIR GEL.
THE REAL COREY CRAWFORD IS BACK, BABY!
21. 
Ottawa Senators
ONCE HIS 21.7 SHOOTING PERCENTAGE LEVELS OFF, WE’LL TOTALLY TRY TO RE-SIGN PAGEAU. PROMISE.
BLEU, BLANC ET ROUGE LIGHTS BURNING THE BACKS OF OUR GOALIES’ NECKS.
THE OTHER TEAM IS SUPPOSED TO SUFFER THE VEGAS FLU.
24. 
Buffalo Sabres
REMEMBER, GUYS, THE SEASON DOESN’T END ON OCTOBER 31.
KEEP TORTS CALM AND CARRY ON.
26. 
Anaheim Ducks
WELCOME TO SAN DIEGO NORTH.
27. 
Minnesota Wild
WE’RE NOT OLD, WE’RE EXPERIENCED!
28. 
Calgary Flames
JOHNNY GAUDREAU’S SHOOTING PERCENTAGE CAN ONLY GO UP… RIGHT?
WE’LL ALWAYS HAVE 2012 AND 2014!
PLAY LIKE YOU WANT THE MONEY WE WERE PREPARED TO PAY TAYLOR.
