It’s the night before what was supposed to have been our opening Edmonton Oilers broadcast on Sportsnet. It was also to be Edmonton’s home opener. Tuesday the Oilers were to host the one and only Stanley Cup champions from LA. The intrigue between a team building to be a champ against one that actually is. It would be at this point that I would start to get a few butterflies in anticipation of our first game.
By now I would have spent hours with Kevin Quinn and Louie DeBrusk as the play by play and analyst tandem in the Oilers booth. Instead I haven’t seen either in months. I miss you guys but apparently not enough to pick up the phone and call. Don’t take that as a sign that we don’t get along. In fact it’s the opposite. It’s like an old friend you haven’t seen in a long time, when you meet up it’s like you never missed a beat. Louie would be regaling us with stories of playing tennis in the summer and hunting in the fall. Kevin would have line combinations for the Oilers next 10 opponents. They are two of the best and friendliest you will find in the game.
I would be concerned about my opening to start the show. Guessing it would have involved a Nail and a Hemmer (Hammer). Plus, the possibility of a ‘Cup’ to be used. Maybe it would be worn with the suggestion that LA won a much bigger Cup than this. I would be standing there on the ice at Rexall Place looking and feeling like a fool but still going through with it. Then I would return to the studio and check the most immediate form of response…twitter. Many people would wonder if I actually have an IQ. While a select few would say they liked it. Then I would be scouring e-mails to see if any came from my bosses and were titled ‘What Are You Doing?” All of this during the commercial break before the opening puck drop.
Then the game would get underway. I would tell stories in between whistles or coming out of commercial breaks. Stories that would often involve bad props and cheesy lines (see opening to show above for reminder of cheesy lines and bad props). It’s what I do. Next would be deciding along the way who to interview during the intermissions. My guess would be an Oiler in the first intermission. Nail Yakupov would have been the likely choice. I could have asked him about his first NHL game, what’s it like to be an Oiler and if he understood anything I just said. My guess is if he didn’t understand that the #1 pick would give an answer that would cover him. “I like Edmonton, it reminds me of home and I hope to score lots of goals”. That would about cover it. At the end I would say something along the lines that the interview was as painful for him as ‘Nails on a chalkboard’. At that time knowing that are still countless bad puns to use that would involve Nail.
For the second intermission it would be time to talk to an LA King. I think an ex-Oiler would be my prime target. Why not Jarret Stoll? Maybe with him I could ask about Paulina Gretzky and he’d say ‘Gino’ then add a nervous laugh and an uncomfortable pause followed by a “Let’s just say it was a good summer.” That would fall under the category of an understatement. At the end of the interview I would say something like Jarret earned the Cup and a woman’s love…he never ‘Stoll’ it. At that point I would see a few members of the Rexall staff headed to the nearest garbage can to unload supper.
From there it would be a wait and see until the final buzzer. If Edmonton won I would talk to players who felt like playing LA was a motivation and to be the best you have to beat the best and one day we want to be Stanley Cup champs. If LA was victorious I would hear about fighting a Stanley Cup hangover, the fact that it’s tough to stay on top and how the Oilers have a young, fast, talented team who are going to be great one day. I would be thinking please make that happen soon but it would just be my inside voice talking.
Finally, I would pack up my work bag and head home. One down and 59 more Sportsnet Oiler games to go. Ahhh what could have been if there was no lockout.