This week’s episode finally showed in full the preview footage I’ve been impatiently waiting for: Tiffany Parros laying it on the line for Maripier Morin when it comes to her relationship with Brandon Prust. Years of reality TV consumption have conditioned me to expect a ridiculously misleading teaser Frankensteined out of footage of a real interaction that’s the opposite of what it’s made to look like. But in this case, Tiffany did not disappoint.
She’s visiting Maripier in Montreal and they get into a hefty chat about relationship status while pawing through a high-end men’s boutique for gifts for Brandon. In her own right, Maripier is one of the most interesting people on the show, but she anxiously orbits Brandon like he exerts a gravitational pull—everything she says and does relates to him, even while she’s making sassy pronouncements about the dirtbag reputation of hockey players or her own jealousy. We’ve all had that friend in real life, and it’s uncomfortable to watch.
“People don’t take us seriously because we’re not engaged,” she complains to Tiffany. And Tiffany—God bless her—replies, deader than deadpan: “Mmmmm. Maybe people don’t take you seriously because you fight all the time.” Maripier immediately denies this, which is odd because she’s mentioned several times on the show that they fight incessantly. Tiffany explains in an aside to the camera that she thinks neither of them has drawn a line in the sand, and since Brandon is getting everything he wants right now, there’s no reason for him to take the next step.
Then Maripier says her dream is to have kids now and get married 10 years from now, so their kids can walk down the aisle with them. This is an almost touchingly idiotic thing to say to a friend as smart and unafraid to call you on your crap as Tiffany is. “Well, that’s dumb,” Tiffany says flatly. “I think you’re only saying that because you don’t think he wants to get married.” That is exactly what it sounded like, and it’s massively satisfying to hear Tiffany call it. Maripier complains that Tiffany doesn’t believe Brandon wants to commit to her. Not even close, Tiffany says: “I could care less if they get married or not. What I care about is I think she wants it and she’s denying that.” It’s impossible to tell if any of this gets through to Maripier—or of course, how real any of the conversation or even the friendship is—but it’s one of the most compelling moments on the show so far.
STANLEY CUP PLAYOFFS: | Broadcast Schedule
Rogers GameCentre LIVE | Stanley Cup Playoffs Fantasy Hockey
New Sportsnet app: iTunes | Google Play
There were a few other intriguing storylines woven through this week’s episode:
The very shortest visit home
This episode features a genuinely emotional glimpse at what hockey life means for Kodette and Jason LaBarbera’s family. Jason is in Calgary, where his family has been all season, because Anaheim is playing the Flames. But that means a brief visit that makes things harder, not easier, for all of them. “He can’t stay the night,” Kodette explains to her kids as they get ready to pick him up at his hotel. “He can only come for a little bit because he’s here for hockey.” She explains on camera that he needs to get a solid rest in case he has to play, so he can’t sleep at home with them.
After Kodette picks Jason up, she tears up talking about the sudden death of a friend’s brother the day before, and explains how hard it was to hold things together to avoid upsetting their kids. “Ryder is not good with crying, right?” she says to Jason. He’s obviously just on a different frequency, because he starts asking whether the car is working out for her and when she’ll get snow tires. It’s clear how hard this life is: they’re apart for so long, they fall out of sync as a couple, and by the time they might have a chance to find their feet together, Jason has to leave again.
That’s even harder on their son Ryder, who has autism. After the briefest of visits—no time for a date night, because Jason just wants to stay home and tuck his kids into bed—Kodette takes Ryder to see his dad off. She explains that hockey games are way too much stimulation for him to handle, so he has to say his goodbye at the hotel. “With Ryder, you gotta earn his love and trust and respect,” she says. “It’s always been something we’ve had to work on for him and Jason to have a relationship, because Jason comes in and out all the time, and when Ryder was younger, Jason would come home and have to start at zero.” It’s heartbreaking, and heartbreakingly real.
Life is tough in the butcher’s window
We also see Emilie and Jonathon Blum grappling with extreme day-to-day uncertainty as they shuffle between homes in three different cities and he tries to make the Minnesota Wild roster. They spend a rare night at home together playing Scrabble and trying to sort things out. “It’s so hard to think about the future when we don’t even know where we’re going to be two weeks from now,” she says. “I didn’t really realize everything that went into being a hockey wife—all the moving we would have to do, all the uncertainty in our careers. I honestly didn’t even think past leaving Nashville.” Jonathon concedes it’s probably easier for him because he’s gotten used to it after a lifetime in the game. “It’s like you’re a commodity and they don’t care about you as a person and your life,” Emilie says. “But that’s what you signed up for in this lifestyle, I guess.” Her husband agrees: “A piece of meat sometimes.”
Another stellar tourism slogan
We’ve already had Edmonton slagged in spectacular fashion, and now it’s London’s turn. Maripier is talking about how she and Brandon had luxurious Caribbean vacation plans for the All-Star break, but now he wants to go to London for his best friend’s stag and doe. She’s laughing at the terrible ridiculousness of this before she ever starts speaking: “I mean, when you think you’re going to St. Maarten and you end up in London, Ontario, that’s kind of a downgrade.” New sign coming into town: “London—Kind of a Downgrade.”
Nicole and Dustin Brown are brave married people
Nicole is off to play in a hockey tournament in Las Vegas, with her husband volunteering to coach her team. In terms of activities that present a mortal danger to a marriage, I’m guessing this clocks in between an idyllic afternoon in a canoe/divorce boat and suggesting casually, on your anniversary: “Hey, we should apply to be on Temptation Island! Won’t that be fun?”
Nicole complains that Dustin spends all his time slouched in a chair in the corner of the rink or signing autographs and posing for pictures. The only time he seems to engage with her team is to bang on the glass and chastise her for a questionable defensive maneuver. “Don’t ever slide! Stay on your feet,” Dustin barks over the glass at her. “Asshole,” Nicole spits.
Sportsnet Magazine Stanley Cup Playoffs
Edition: The six reasons why Carey Price can take the Montreal Canadiens all the way. Download it right now on your iOS or Android device, free to Sportsnet ONE subscribers.
