Francis Lessard: “Wanna dance?”
Sebastien Laferriere: “Hell yeah…. Wait. I’m assuming you mean fight. We’re on the same page here, right?”
Lessard: “No, just dance. I literally just want to dance. We can drop gloves and cock our fists back a bit, but we’ll never actually touch each other.”
Laferriere: “Oh, so you mean dance dance. Like, Grade 7 dance. No contact but we spin around in each other’s general vicinity and make eye contact.”
Lessard: “Yeah, chump. Let’s dance.”
Laferriere: “Would be my pleasure.”
Such was the scrapless, toothless bout that unfolded in a recent match between the Cornwall River Kings and HC Carvena de Sorel-Tracy of Quebec’s Ligue Nord-Americaine de Hockey (LNAH), the low-level pro circuit known for its fisticuffs.
The YouTube uploader titled the piece “Worst hockey fight ever,” and it’s tough to disagree.
Laferriere, 25, amassed a whopping 623 penalty minutes in just 99 games over the past three seasons. He also had three goals in that span.
Lessard, 33, played 115 games in the NHL (with the Atlanta Thrashers and Ottawa Senators), where he scored a single goal and racked up 346 PIMs.