Deck the halls with knockouts and submissions. It’s the time of year when everyone is scrambling to complete their Christmas shopping, so, to help out, here is the ultimate mixed martial arts Christmas list…
(We begin with a few items that are more “fantasy” than reality.)
An iPhone app that just updates you when Chael Sonnen speaks
This app lets you know when UFC middleweight contender Chael Sonnen says something noteworthy. It beeps once when he says something controversial and beeps twice when he says something outlandish. Your phone may be beeping quite a bit.
The MMA hair styling kit
Whether you’d like to fashion a Dan Hardy-esque mohawk, shave unique patterns into chest hair like Brian Ebersole, sport a multi-coloured hairdo like Scott Jorgensen, or learn to grow your locks like Clay Guida, this kit has it all.
A pound-for-pound rankings calculator
This device comes equipped with an innovation set of algorithms that lets us know once and for all who the top pound-for-pound fighter in the world is. This device will finally end the never-ending bickering associated with the P4P list that exists within the MMA community.
For the person you don’t like, a Dennis Hallman speedo
Hallman sported some interesting fight trunks at UFC 133. So interesting in fact that UFC president Dana White banned them from future UFC competition. The speedo-style trunks didn’t do Hallman any favours either, as he lost to Ebersole by TKO.
A new scoring system for incompetent judges
2011 had many controversial decisions that had fans, fighters and those behind the scenes scratching their heads and wondering if a new scoring system should one day be implemented into MMA. Recently at UFC 140 in Toronto, Canadian welterweight Claude Patrick was the victim of a controversial decision. The vast majority of fans and media believed Patrick won the fight and should have been given the decision. Even UFC chairman Lorenzo Fertitta tweeted, Bad Decision, in response to the judges’ call.
The items above are for the wishful thinkers out there. But mixed martial arts is a rapidly-growing industry and there’s a lot of merchandise out there that MMA fans could enjoy.
PRACTICAL GIFT IDEAS FOR MMA FANS
– The UFC just released its UFC Encyclopedia, which is a comprehensive look at the history of the organization. Complete with over 300 fighter bios and over 170 event results, everything you need to know about the Ultimate Fighting Championship can be found in this book.
– A Sportsnet Magazine subscription. Wait, no, sorry, that was meant to read UFC Magazine. A publication perfect for UFC fans. But hey, while you’re at it, pick up a subscription to Sportsnet Magazine as well.
– Fans can look and feel like the pros with replica gloves, fight shorts, walkout t-shirts and training gear. You can even get replica UFC and WEC championship belts for the future hall-of-famers out there.
– UFC action figures for kids. MMA stars like GSP, Anderson Silva, Chuck Liddell, Brock Lesnar and others all have their own action figures. Wait, what do you mean there’s no Showdown Joe action figure action figure? This has to happen one day, surely.
– For fans of former UFC light-heavyweight champion Quinton (Rampage) Jackson, you could get a replica chain that is a staple of Rampage’s Octagon entrances.
– UFC Undisputed 3. Who doesn’t love living their life vicariously through video games? The game is not available until January, but it will be flying off the shelves when it is released.
– Tickets. There is nothing an MMA fan would want more than tickets to a big event. However, they often sell out quickly, so you can also buy a UFC Fight Club membership in order to purchase advanced tickets.
– For the single guy, an Arianny Celeste or Brittney Palmer 2012 calendar. These gifts do not need an explanation.
– For the non-single guy, a Brittney Palmer painting. The UFC ring girl is a talented artist, so if you’re caught looking at her website, you can say it’s to look at more of her art.
WHAT FIGHTERS WANT FOR CHIRSTMAS
A second title shot for Jon Fitch
With GSP out of commission — recovering from a knee surgery for the next year or so — a second title shot for Fitch is a more realistic possibility. If he gets by Jonny Hendricks at UFC 141, he is the likely choice to fight the winner of Carlos Condit vs. Nick Diaz, who fight for the UFC’s interim welterweight strap at UFC 143.
A top-tier opponent for Gilbert Melendez
The Strikeforce lightweight champion is 20-2 and is in search of a true test. The 29-year-old is in his prime and is unbeaten in the last three years. Melendez has made a challenge to the UFC to put together a title unification bout following his last two wins inside the Strikeforce Hexagon. Many consider Melendez to be the best lightweight in the world. (That MMA rankings calculator would come in handy here.)
Georges St-Pierre would like get back in the Octagon
Unfortunately, that’s not going to happen until around Christmastime next year. The UFC welterweight champion and former three-time Sportsnet Athlete of the Year had a rough 2011. He didn’t impress everyone in his unanimous decision win over Jake Shields at UFC 129 and has been struggling with injuries since that win. He wants to prove his critics wrong.
