NHL Power Rankings: 7th Annual Hockey Haiku Edition

Tampa Bay Lightning goaltender Andrei Vasilevskiy (88) celebrates with defencemen Victor Hedman (77) and Ryan McDonagh (27) after the team defeated the Carolina Hurricanes on Wednesday, Feb. 24, 2021, in Tampa, Fla. (Chris O'Meara/AP)

Our Power Rankings
Crammed into tiny poems
Easy-to-read fare

1. Tampa Bay Lightning

Champs keep on truckin’
Hedman eyes one more Norris
All this without Kuch

2. Boston Bruins


Pink shades, cap flipped back
Sun’s out, sniper’s out, sing out
“Barbie Girl,” Pasta

3. Toronto Maple Leafs


Panic attacks spread
Sweat, fear, overwhelming dread…
“Freddie’s day-to-day”

4. Vegas Golden Knights


C-3PO shine
Gleams like hope, suns slicing night
Vegas gold helmets

5. Colorado Avalanche


Saves for days, mad chill
Still sunglasses and Advil
The Grubauer mood

6. Florida Panthers


Pay goalie 10 M’s
Yet ECHL longshot
Cashes more wins… wow

7. Carolina Hurricanes


Canes now piling goals,
Leafs playing D, cats love dogs
Mass hysteria

8. Winnipeg Jets


Secret to success
Is strength up the gut — one, two
Scheifele, Dubois punch

9. Edmonton Oilers


Poke-steal, kick to blade,
Nine fast handles, Eyes sell pass,
Puck snaps… Connor wows

10. Washington Capitals


Fear does not exist
In this dojo, no mercy
Lavi: “Sweep the leg!”

11. Chicago Blackhawks


Claim to know hockey
But deep down? Never heard of
Suter, Lankinen

12. Los Angeles Kings


Kopitar on fire
Doughty, Brown, Carter as well
Is this 2012?

13. Philadelphia Flyers


Tucked ’round dark corners,
Hides in kids’ closets, ’neath beds
Just waiting… Gritty

14. New York Islanders


Locked down like COVID
Best offence is good defence
At least Barzal flies

15. St. Louis Blues


Junior gold medal
Breakout season in the Lou
Meet Jordan Kyrou

16. Minnesota Wild


Kaprizov shining,
Mats back, retro sweaters pop
Good things in Minny

17. Montreal Canadiens


Goals dry, human Price
Mighty Habs fire Julien
Juggernaut no more

18. Dallas Stars


Global pandemics
And freak power outages
League’s fewest games played

19. Pittsburgh Penguins


One thousand games played
What a grand thing to have seen
Tell kids you saw Sid

20. Arizona Coyotes


Legacy favours
Carey Price, but Canada
Should look at Kuemper

21. Calgary Flames


The Flames’ Coaching Tre(e):
Bob Hartley, Glen Gulutzan,
Bill Peters, Geoff Ward

22. Columbus Blue Jackets


Sharp splinters prod pants
No glance from above, just shame
Coach Torts has benched me

23. New Jersey Devils


If Hischier gets C
Midwinter without fans’ cheer,
Does anyone hear?

24. New York Rangers


Mika starting slow,
Tony waived, Artemi leaves
Big Apple bitten

25. Vancouver Canucks


A riddle to solve:
If Aquilini believes,
Why no green for Green?

26. San Jose Sharks


Given a penny
For each Brent Burns Kit Kat ad,
Pockets’d be chunky

27. Buffalo Sabres


Think it can’t get worse?
Seventy-two million dollars
On a healthy scratch

28. Nashville Predators


Frigid water smacks
Face, franchise sees clear what’s true
Time for a rebuild

29. Anaheim Ducks


Someone, anyone
Help Gibson by scoring goals?
Zegras enters chat

30. Detroit Red Wings


A once-great empire
Crumbles to ash, awaits spark
To rise like phoenix

31. Ottawa Senators


Deepest of rebuilds
Two years from two years away
Four goals slip per night

When submitting content, please abide by our  submission guidelines, and avoid posting profanity, personal attacks or harassment. Should you violate our submissions guidelines, we reserve the right to remove your comments and block your account. Sportsnet reserves the right to close a story’s comment section at any time.
We use cookies to improve your experience. Learn More or change your cookie preferences. By continuing to use this site, you agree to the use of cookies.
close