A BPL performance for the ages by Aguero

Craig Forrest and James Sharman recap Saturday’s action in the Premier League, including Sergio Aguero's five goals for Manchester City, and Chelsea losing to Southampton.

Here’s what happened in the Premier League this weekend, in case you missed it…

Saturday’s roundup: Mourinho talks potential firing after Chelsea loss
Sunday’s roundup: Arsenal nets 3 quick goals to sink Man United

Crystal Palace 2, West Bromwich Albion 0 || Aston Villa 0, Stoke City 1 || Bournemouth 1, Watford 1 || Norwich City 1, Leicester City 2 || Manchester City 6, Newcastle United 1 || Sunderland 2, West Ham United 2 || Chelsea 1, Southampton 3 || Everton 1, Liverpool 1 || Arsenal 3, Manchester United 0 || Swansea City 2, Tottenham 2 ||

Aguero tears Newcastle to shreds

More nonsense from Mourinho: Is Jose Mourinho the most paranoid manager in world football? The Portuguese has never heard a conspiracy theory he didn’t like, and he was touting a few of them following Chelsea home loss to Southampton. Mourinho was full of excuses afterwards, launching a scathing attack on the officials who are all conspiring together against Chelsea and not giving his team enough penalties. “Maybe I’m going to be punished but I have to say it, because my players and the supporters deserve me to say it… we don’t get one decision from the referees,” Mourinho complained. Never mind that the Saints picked apart Chelsea’s ramshackle of a back line, or how the Saints outplayed the Blues for most of the game. Enough, Jose. Your act is beyond tiresome.

Rodgers out at Liverpool

Arsenal runs rampant: What an opening 20 minutes from Arsenal against Manchester United! Two fabulous finishes by Alexis Sanchez and some exquisite play by Mesut Ozil allowed Arsenal to jump out to a 3-0 lead before the midway point of the first half, sending the Emirates into a state of delirium. After that, Arsene Wenger adjusted his tactics to stifle United in the second half and kill off the game. This was exactly the type of response Wenger wanted from his side after that midweek Champions League loss to Olympiakos, as the Gunners leapfrogged United for second place in the standings. “Some of the best football I’ve ever been involved in. It was like the Arsenal of old,” Arsenal striker Theo Walcott said. It was quite something to watch, too.

Advocaat steps down at Sunderland

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Simon Mignolet made some outstanding saves in the first half for Liverpool at Goodison Park. His best came in the 30th minute when he dove to tip James McCarthy’s powerful drive from the edge of the box around the post after seeing it late.

Crystal Palace’s Wilfried Zaha inadvertently elbowed Chris Brunt as the two went up for a ball, opening up a bloody gash on the West Bromwich Albion midfielder’s nose. Brunt had to go off for several minutes to receive treatment and when he returned Zaha immediately went over to apologize. Brunt accepted the apology with good grace, shaking Zaha’s hand. Great sportsmanship.

Sunderland’s Jeremain Lens scored on a lovely chip shot against West Ham United:

The Merseyside derby was another entertaining and dramatic affair, played at a quick pace between city rivals who had an extra bit of intensity about them. End to end stuff at times.

I had my doubts at first, but then I saw his spelling of Liverpool:

“If the club wants to sack me, they have to sack me, because I’m not running away from my responsibility, my team.” —Jose Mourinho to Sky Sports.

• Crystal Palace’s Yannick Bolasie scored his first goal at Selhurst Park for 1005 days this weekend.
• Mark Noble’s booking at Sunderland after 1:44 is the second quickest of the season (behind Max Gradel’s after 37 seconds vs. Leicester City).
• Leicester City’s Jamie Vardy has now scored in five successive Premier League games.
• Chelsea have conceded at least two goals in seven of their eight Premier League games this season.
• Sergio Aguero has scored as many Premier League goals (six) as Newcastle United this season.
• The last four Premier League Merseyside derbies at Goodison Park have all ended in draws.
Stats courtesy of Opta

1) Sergio Aguero: The only choice. Five goals. A one-man wrecking crew against Newcastle United. One of the all-time great performances in the league.
2) Alexis Sanchez: Bagged a brace, and effectively linked up with Mesut Ozil as the Gunners ripped apart Manchester United.
3) Graziano Pelle: The Italian was magnificent, scoring one goal and setting up another as Southampton stunned Chelsea.

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