“I hope I showed them for you, Maman.”
That’s the final line in Martin St. Louis’ emotional reflection for The Players’ Tribune. (That’s also the part when the tears come.)
In his heartfelt article, aptly-titled Show Them, the undersized, undrafted and recently retired winger reflects on his childhood, how he built his successful hockey career, and his decision to retire.
But most of all, he pays tribute to his No. 1 supporter: his late mother, France, who passed away suddenly in May 2014.
“My mom was soft-spoken and only 4’11”, but once you got to know her, it became clear how passionate she was,” writes St. Louis, describing that same small-but-mighty, heart-on-your-sleeve passion he himself displayed throughout his hockey career.
“She wanted my sister and me to find success, but more than that, she really wanted us to be good human beings.”
St. Louis also shares the words — his mother’s words — that fueled his long journey into professional hockey.
“Every night when she put me to bed as a child, she’d stay in my room for a little while and say the same thing: ‘Show them! Don’t worry about what they say about your size. Go out there and show them how good you are!'” he writes. “Here was the thing: I believed her. The fact that she had such confidence in my abilities made me feel invincible. She wanted it for me as badly as I wanted it for myself.”
Here are some more excerpts from the article:
On his mother’s support:
One of the biggest turning points of my career was back in 2000 when the Tampa Bay Lightning decided to give me a shot at making the team. I should have been more nervous, but I remember being at ease because my mom told me, “Oh yeah, the cards said you’re going to make it. Don’t even worry about it, it’s done.” She was a big believer in tarot cards, and she had been told I was going to make the team.
Now, for all I knew, she was making it all up. But it was just the pick-me-up I needed.
On leaving Tampa Bay:
I know there were plenty of people who were very hurt and angry when I left the Lightning, but it was just the right time for something new for my family and me. It was one of the most difficult choices of my career, but I’ve never been scared of tough decisions. Being scared of making a decision should never be what stops you from making the right one.
On deciding to retire from the NHL:
For the first time, this summer, walking away felt like the right choice. Sure, teams were interested, and yes, I believe I could still play in the league. But everyone has to retire at some point. This is simply my time.
On his mother’s legacy:
It was difficult having my mom’s death play out so publicly, but in a way, I’m thankful that it allowed her to get the acknowledgement she deserved.
She would always shy away from being the center of attention, but she deserved to be talked about because she was such an amazing person. I couldn’t be more proud to be her son. I’m so proud of what we accomplished.
Be sure to check out the full article. It’s a great, emotional read.
