TORONTO — How do you sort through a massacre with so many subplots?
Well, let's begin with Sheldon Keefe's favourite part of the game — because it might just be yours as well.
No doubt Matthew Knies was already riding a first-period high, having undressed Pittsburgh Penguins goalie Tristan Jarry with a filthy backhand roof, scoring on his first healthy shift after two games missed due to illness.
On his following shift, Knies spots 213-pound defenceman John Ludvig checking his new centreman, Max Domi, face-first into the dashers, losing yet another tooth from Domi's already-spotty top row.
Immediately, the rookie rushes to Domi's defence, cross-checking Ludvig and initiating his first-ever fight.
Wham. Bam.
Knies scored the game-winner and took care of two-thirds of the first Gordie Howe hat trick by a Toronto Maple Leaf in nearly nine years in under five minutes of game action.
"Honestly, I kind of blacked out a little bit. I just wanted it to get as much [punches] off as I could. And it's a cool feeling, I guess, to get that adrenaline rush in," Knies said, following Toronto's 7-0 beatdown of the miserable Penguins.
"It feels good. You know, I don't think I'm going into the game looking to do that, but just happened. Domi went down. I just didn't really like the play, and I think it was just necessary for me to step up."
From drop to buzzer — boosted by the assertive tone set by Knies and his emergency linemates Domi and Mitch Marner — the Maple Leafs conducted themselves as if stepping up was necessary.
The 7-0 score indicates a much closer event than it was.
And those home fans taunting "Duuuuu-basss!" in full throat found the whole roast delicious, their long-serving ex-GM stewing in his visitors' suite, watching the NHL's oldest roster get devoured by Father Time and his own résumé all at once.
Never have the Penguins — a once-mighty champion, featuring multiple future Hall of Famers — looked so slow and undisciplined, sloppy and irresponsible.
Last time we witnessed a Leafs-Pens game this lopsided, the road team was trying to get its coach fired.
(We're not saying that was the case with Pittsburgh Saturday. But it's clear Mike Sullivan is running out of answers for this roster, and we're doubtful a coaching change would make the difference.)
Toronto, on the other hand, supplied one of its most encouraging and engaged performances all season.
Perhaps the Leafs' 12 unanswered goals in regulation are an extended response to digging out of that ugly 0-5 hole to Columbus Thursday.
Or maybe their urgency spiked because Auston Matthews, the NHL's leading goal-scorer, didn't feel right after he awoke from his pre-game nap and, although he drove to Scotiabank Arena, turned around and went home to rest. This prompted Keefe to scramble all four forward lines minutes before game time.
And with the coach's second-best defenceman, T.J. Brodie, also downed by the bug, and the Leafs' best hope in net now resting with their third-stringer, there was an all-hands-on-deck vibe in the air.
So authoritative were the Leafs, one wonders if Brendan Shanahan himself walked into the dressing room pre-game and slapped some money on the board.
"We didn't give them any life, any momentum," Martin Jones said, following his high-volume, low-danger, 38-save shutout.
"Pretty impressive game, top to bottom, start to finish. We were just solid, honestly. I mean, I wasn't asked to do anything too crazy out there. Just play solid. Make the saves I'm supposed to make, and guys were really good in front of the net."
Both nets, and up and down the bench.
The Leafs received goals from forwards on lines, and chased Pittsburgh starter Tristan Jarry before the party was 22 minutes old. Then they hung three more goals on backup Alex Nedeljkovic for kicks.
The Leafs penalty kill was perfect, and their power play cashed in twice.
Sidney Crosby was a minus-3, Kris Letang a minus-4. A handful of Pittsburgh's stars took poor penalties born of frustration.
With the game out of reach early, the Leafs laid off the gas in the final period. Keefe took pity on his former boss's roster by throwing out his second play-play unit and inventing a third unit composed of his recalled Marlies and defensive role players.
But if we are to take something else from Saturday, beyond the Leafs' superiority to the fading Penguins, it's Knies taking a giant step toward being a more complete power forward.
"His first-ever fight comes not for anything to do with him. He didn't like what's going on with Max and steps in, and it leads to a fight, and he stands his ground," Keefe said. "It's part of the game. He's a big, strong, physical guy that has the ability to really assert himself in more ways than just what we saw in that that fight."
Beautiful goal. Emotional scrap. Nifty primary assist.
"To me, that's the complete package," Keefe goes on. "His ability to grow into being that physical force, I think that's really where that next phase of his development is. it's tough to do at the NHL level as a young guy, but credit to him."
And credit to the Maple Leafs, the only team that showed up.
Fox's Fast Five
• Incredible moment for undrafted late-bloomer Bobby McMann, who potted his first-ever NHL goal. At 27 years old. And was rewarded with a Hockey Night in Canada towel.
"I saw it hit the mesh and just a bit of relief came over me. More just emotion and excitement," McMann says. "It's pretty cool. It's been a long time dreaming about it, for sure. Thinking about it. Shooting pucks in the summer. Working on it. So, definitely a special one, and I'll remember it for a long time."
Once encased in glass, the milestone puck is headed to Mom and Dad's living room in Wainwright, Alberta. His first post-game phone call will be home.
"I'm sure they'll be answering the phone together," McMann smiles, "as most parents do now."
• Jones registers his first shutout and improves to a perfect 3-0-0 as a Maple Leaf.
He has won all seven of his past seven games versus the Penguins, with three shutouts and a goals-against average below 1.00.
No question, Jones has swiftly become the club's most trusted (healthy) goaltender.
"Listen, man, as long as I can remember, he's always been like a world-class starting goalie," Domi says. "Every time I played against him, he's always been a starter, even in Seattle last year, in the playoffs.
"For him to go down [to the minors] like that and take it as good as he did and understand what's going on, it takes a special person — and that's what Jonesy is. He's a great guy. Super positive every single day.
"He's been around for a long time for a reason. So, it's nice to see him get rewarded like that tonight."
• Centring former London Knights teammate Mitch Marner for the first time as a Leaf, Domi had a stellar effort, setting up a pair of goals and sniping one himself. Against his boyhood idol, Crosby, nonetheless.
"No one has won as much as he has," Domi said. "He was my favourite player growing up, him and Patrick Kane."
• The Penguins' fathers are tagging along their road trip, and they got to explore the Hockey Hall of Fame's archive room Friday out in Etobicoke.
Hockey Night in Canada? In the mecca? With Troy Crosby in the building?
"It's great," Sidney said pre-game. "Grew up watching Saturday nights with my dad."
• The Maple Leafs find themselves in unfamiliar territory, leading the Eastern Conference in hits (585).
"I don't put a lot of stock into that, quite frankly," Keefe said. "It's probably because we haven't had the puck as much as we've had in past years. When you don't have it as much, you're defending more, and those numbers tend to rise."
That said, all the NHL's top four hitting teams are in playoff position. But so are the Dallas Stars, who rank dead last in the category (358).
COMMENTS
When submitting content, please abide by our submission guidelines, and avoid posting profanity, personal attacks or harassment. Should you violate our submissions guidelines, we reserve the right to remove your comments and block your account. Sportsnet reserves the right to close a story’s comment section at any time.