NHL Power Rankings: Hockey Haiku Edition

Vancouver Canucks defenceman Alexander Edler, left. (Darryl Dyck/CP)

The Power Rankings
Take form of Japan poems
Year 4 of this trick

1. Tampa Bay Lightning
Stammer pass to Kuch
Kuch put puck behind goalie
Bolts win game, repeat

2. St. Louis Blues
Saskatchewan son
Jaden from Planet Hockey
Yeo-da use the Schwartz

3. Los Angeles Kings
New GM, new coach
Fresh voices heard by skaters
They answer with goals

4. New Jersey Devils
Will Butcher Sweepstakes
Eleven points from blue line
The Avs could’ve used

5. Columbus Blue Jackets
Bread Man, setup man
Pierre-Luc Dubois sticking
Morning skates for chumps

6. New York Islanders
Chapeaus tossed on ice
A contract year or something?
Two Johnny hat tricks

7. Philadelphia Flyers
Leo saw numbers
Hit his target in back square
Poor Shayne Gostisbehere

8. Vegas Golden Knights
Fleury is concussed
Pickard’s gone; Subban, Dansk hurt
Wanna play goalie?

9. Vancouver Canucks
Slowly dialing back
Travis Green taketh away
Twins’ ice time decline

10. San Jose Sharks
Tears on cheeks trickle
Melancholic drips to ice
Welcome home, Patty

11. Toronto Maple Leafs
Matthews a wonder
Marleau marvels, Martin mean
Some D would be nice

12. Dallas Stars
Bishop wants to stay
Too bad Hitchcock wants him pulled
Coach’s decision

13. Anaheim Ducks
Vatanen, Lindholm,
Getzlaf, Fowler, Bieksa,
Eaves… most man games lost

14. Winnipeg Jets
Blake Wheeler hatty,
Jets convert the extra point
Score touchdown on Pens

15. Minnesota Wild
We love Chris Stewart,
But when he’s your best forward,
You’re not playoff built

16. Ottawa Senators
Thin gloves too flimsy
Cold, hard pucks shot much too fast
At Bobby’s fingers

17. Colorado Avalanche
First-round pick, a wing,
Two prospects, goalie, top D
Our price for Duchene

18. Calgary Flames
Twelve games, zero points
Where art thou, young Sam Bennett?
We picked you so high

19. Nashville Predators
Twine bulges again
Every fourth shot finds the net
Forsberg is on fire

20. Chicago Blackhawks
Three nights in Vegas
Ill prepared for Golden Knights
What happened stays there

21. Boston Bruins
Jaws dropped, disbelief
Nine-tenths of a second left!
How’d the Kings beat us?

22. Carolina Hurricanes
Playoff drought too long
Hope springs from young defence core
Tickets, team for sale

23. Pittsburgh Penguins
Meat stick tucked in bun
Am I a sandwich, or just
Kessel’s pre-game snack?

24. Florida Panthers
Luongo goes down
Niemi plucked off waivers
Reimer’s time to shine

25. Washington Capitals
Naked on cold street
Clothed warm by Samaritan
Alex does great deed

26. Detroit Red Wings
We held out all our
syllables for Andreas

27. Montreal Canadiens
Bronx cheers, sly rumours
Cherry: Habs fans front-runners
Price will remember

28. New York Rangers
October failure
Centre, goal, defence in doubt
Can’t beat Montreal

29. Edmonton Oilers
Like wind or cheetah
Usain fast, Bugatti speed
How McDavid skates

30. Buffalo Sabres
Splintered graphite snaps
Frustration born of losing
Eichel’s stick in two

31. Arizona Coyotes
Ugly October
Whole team cast in disarray
November is here

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